Let's just get this straight...
Miss Barbara works evenings in the art gallery.
Barbara wire is what we are putting on top of the fence that surrounds the little house on the mainland to deter another break in.
Bigness's favorite Barbara is in Belmopan, the Spanish boy at the bus station peels his head nice.
What is a peeled head you ask? In aMerica it is known as a brush cut. Its not bad looking on him and being a man of 63, he certainly has a lot of fast growing hair to control. The only problem wtih the Spanish boy is he works when he wants. Sometimes Bigness will get frustrated , driving all the way to Belmopan and the boy isn't there in his little shed next to the bus station, cutting piles of hair, so he comes home and takes the clipper to his head himself. When I hear the sound of buzz buzz buzz coming from the bathroom, I refuse to get involved. I don't want to take the blame, and I don't want to accidently shave his initials into the back of his head.
The above terms are not to be confused with Baba which is what runs from your nose mixed with eyewata. It is also the swill you get at the bottom of a coke bottle when you share your drink.
If you need translation help, let me know because sometimes I actually understand what Bigness is saying.
Note: you will not find these terms in babelfish.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
The People Have Spoken
Its a new day in Belize. Its 6 a.m. and unofficial reports have
said that the UDP has swept the general election 2 to 1. This is getting interesting. The people I spoke to were ready for a change, any change. And although they were skeptical that Dean Barrow can do the job, they felt they could no longer deal with the Musa administration anymore and needed a break from secret contracts, missing money, cronyism, graft and corruption. Hard core PUP supporters either didn't show up to vote, or voted their discontent, leaving in office only a few of the old crowd. This is not unique to Belize with 4 landslide elections in their short history of democracy. People all over the world want a government that makes them feel safe within their borders, protected along with their assets, see that they restrain evil and that justice is done, and in return not feel their pockets emptied on the 15th of each
month.
The government has changed without a single bullet fired.
Belize is divided into 31 areas with a representative for each. Out of 31 areas, 6 went to the PUP and 25 went to the UDP. There is no seperate election for Prime Minister. Whichever party wins the majority of areas, their party leader becomes Prime Minister. When the party changes, the portfolios all change and the losing party has to hand over all the ministerial positions. So, we will be seeing a new Minister of Tourism, Defence, Lands, Finance, Health, Education
, etc. PUP representatives who were elected again are Cordell Hyde, Mark Espat, Francis Fonseca, Said Musa, Florencio Marin Jr. and Johnney Bricenio. Rumors have it that the PUP will be changing party leader and not be giving the title to Said Musa.
Manuel Heredia, the UDP representative for Caye Caulker, was relected. One of the biggest upsets is Ralph Fonseca, the now former Minister of Finance (where is the money?), and the area representative for where we have our house on the mainland, was voted out of office by Hutchenson, just a regular guy. David defeated Goliath.
Caye Caulker was quiet on election day. No campaigning or loud speakers were allowed near
the polling sites. By law there were no liquor sales until after the polls closed at 6 p.m. The day was off and on sprinkling rain, a cold front stood stationary over the northern coastal areas. Two thirds of the registered voters on Caye Caulker turned out to vote. The Belize Defence Force was here to oversee the election and when the polls closed took the ballot boxes on their boat, each party representative, along with the representative from Elections and Boundaries, to Belize City to be counted. Bigness stayed up most of the night watching Channel 7 News and Krem Radio like he was on a hurricane watch. I woke up from time to time asking what was going on as they annnouned updates on the vote counting. The village is waking up now with a lot of hooting and hollering, drunks that started at 6 p.m. last night are headed home to sleep it off.
For me, its time to make the coffee.
said that the UDP has swept the general election 2 to 1. This is getting interesting. The people I spoke to were ready for a change, any change. And although they were skeptical that Dean Barrow can do the job, they felt they could no longer deal with the Musa administration anymore and needed a break from secret contracts, missing money, cronyism, graft and corruption. Hard core PUP supporters either didn't show up to vote, or voted their discontent, leaving in office only a few of the old crowd. This is not unique to Belize with 4 landslide elections in their short history of democracy. People all over the world want a government that makes them feel safe within their borders, protected along with their assets, see that they restrain evil and that justice is done, and in return not feel their pockets emptied on the 15th of each
month.The government has changed without a single bullet fired.
Belize is divided into 31 areas with a representative for each. Out of 31 areas, 6 went to the PUP and 25 went to the UDP. There is no seperate election for Prime Minister. Whichever party wins the majority of areas, their party leader becomes Prime Minister. When the party changes, the portfolios all change and the losing party has to hand over all the ministerial positions. So, we will be seeing a new Minister of Tourism, Defence, Lands, Finance, Health, Education
, etc. PUP representatives who were elected again are Cordell Hyde, Mark Espat, Francis Fonseca, Said Musa, Florencio Marin Jr. and Johnney Bricenio. Rumors have it that the PUP will be changing party leader and not be giving the title to Said Musa.Manuel Heredia, the UDP representative for Caye Caulker, was relected. One of the biggest upsets is Ralph Fonseca, the now former Minister of Finance (where is the money?), and the area representative for where we have our house on the mainland, was voted out of office by Hutchenson, just a regular guy. David defeated Goliath.
Caye Caulker was quiet on election day. No campaigning or loud speakers were allowed near
the polling sites. By law there were no liquor sales until after the polls closed at 6 p.m. The day was off and on sprinkling rain, a cold front stood stationary over the northern coastal areas. Two thirds of the registered voters on Caye Caulker turned out to vote. The Belize Defence Force was here to oversee the election and when the polls closed took the ballot boxes on their boat, each party representative, along with the representative from Elections and Boundaries, to Belize City to be counted. Bigness stayed up most of the night watching Channel 7 News and Krem Radio like he was on a hurricane watch. I woke up from time to time asking what was going on as they annnouned updates on the vote counting. The village is waking up now with a lot of hooting and hollering, drunks that started at 6 p.m. last night are headed home to sleep it off.For me, its time to make the coffee.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Super Thursday Coming Up, Politics... Schmolotics!
Today is Wednesday, tomorrow (Feb 7) is general election day in Belize. I haven't written about it before because mostly I don't care.
The other day I opened the San Pedro Sun newspaper up and saw my sister-in-law Miss Ophelia center stage photo on a full page PUP advertisement for Mel Spain, who is running for area representative Belize Rural South, which is the district that Caye Caulker is in. Nice photo of Miss Feli, I kept the ad.
Business has been a little bit slow all over Caye Caulker these last few weeks, so the idle chat and discussion has inevitably turned to politics between Shirls and me. Shirls is the daytime DJ and barista for the store. I can tell the weather before I even get out of bed in the morning because she plays Norah Jones when its raining. She's a CNN watcher and I've done my best to explain American politics, the house and the senate, what a primary election is, what the electoral college is (who knows?) recalling 7th grade American history class and 11th grade government class (which I wasn't paying attention in anyway).
She won't admit what party she's supporting for Prime Minister, but her favorites for area representative are mostly UDP, where mine are mostly PUP. Her choices are on what the area representative has done for the people, my choices tend to be how handsome the candidate is, and how well I like his voice. Francis Fonseca (swoon), Cordell Hyde (hot flash), Godfrey Smith (blush), and Mark Espat (o.k. he's not as cute as the others, but I like him anyway) I don't mind seeing Said Musa as the prime minister, because he has a full head of hair, but he's SO SHORT. Dean Barrow (the opposition candidate for PM) is bald with a head so shiney you could see your reflection in it, and when you mute the TV (as I usually do when they are talking politics) his gestures look like he's trying to imitate the Pope.
I am not politically minded, but here is Lee's Quickstart Political Guide for foreigners. Any Belizean reading this post should feel to correct me in the comments area as I am not educated on these things. These are my observations and point of view. At the end of the day none of it matters anyway because they are all corrupt. Governments are all corrupt, power corrupts because people are basically greedy. I say people get into politics because they don't want to get a real job.
Belize has no term limits. The Prime Minister could be relected again and again and again. And like any system that has no term limits and does not have an elected senate, they just get better and better at hiding the money.
Four parties are running.
The PUP (blue) is currently in power both the Prime Minister Said Musa, and the majority of the senate, plus most area representatives are PUP. If I had to compare this party to a U.S. political party I would say they are like the Republicans. The PUP is being supported by Hugo Chavez (the devil according to some Americans) from Venezuela, and is also being supported by the U.S. government. The U.S. ambassador was here on Caye Caulker the other day to attend the ground breaking for the new water treatment plant on Caye Caulker. And if that's not campaigning, I don't know what is.
The UDP (red) is the main opposition for Prime Minister. Dean Barrow (a lawyer)Belize City
is running for the office of Prime Minister. Belize City went through quite an upset a few years ago when Ms. Zenaida Moya a young Belizean Woman with her master's degree from The University of Detroit won the office of Mayoress, and the whole political dynamic from PUP to UDP. Zenaida Moya is NOT AFRAID TO TELL YOU OFF! I kinda like her, she has nice hair. If I had to compare this party to a U.S. political party, I would say they are like the Democrats.
The NRP (orange) is a new party with a Mennonite running for Prime Minister.
The VIP (not sure what color, let's just make them green)
Signs of the Times
The atmosphere is heating up with political rallies selling 3 dolla beers, giving away t-shirts, umbrellas, slogans painted on telephone poles, hand painted signs in front yards. In the last few weeks I've been up the Northern Highway all the way to Corozal. and I've been out the Western Highway as far as San Ignacio. If signs are the judge of things, all those little villages in the north are hardback PUP, and all the villages from Belmopan to the western border are UDP. And of course, the south is always red. The funniest sign I read was posted way high up in someone's roadside mango tree and read "UDP would sell dey mother" Trees painted blue with a white X on them, telephone poles with red swaths of paint marking territory. Up and down, red, blue, red, blue. Red t-shirts, blue umbrellas, red signs, blue billboards.
As for our own area representative, Manuel Heredia (UDP) . I can see that he's a man who works hard for San Pedro. Too bad he's forgotten about little Caye Caulker over here struggling just to maintain, struggling to keep our nose above water. In Belize, they call the non-elected party member for an area, the Standard Bearer. Mel Spain is the PUP standard bearer for Belize Rural South, and it looks like she could do something for Caye Caulker, but I think the people of San Pedro aren't disillusioned with Manuel Heredia yet. If Mel Spain isn't elected as area representative, she will still be working with the government representing the PUP.
My Prediction for Friday Morning:
There is no clear winner for me. Its a toss up. Will there be voter fraud? Probably. We just might need U.N. Peacekeeping forces here.
Although everyone is tired of the present administration, I don't believe Belize is ready for Dean Barrow to be Prime Minister. I'm putting into written words what I'm hearing from people on the street. They are ready for a change. If the UDP had a Spanish candidate then it would be a sure victory.
If the PUP loses the election for prime minister, they will bow out gracefully, covering their asses nicely on the way out. With a changeover in government they will be so disorganized, that for about a year they leave us alone and stop harrass.
If the UDP loses the election we better prepare for a little civil war. Remember the little civil war we went through in May of 2004 when the UDP incited a general strike? The teachers were on strike, the telecommunications strike which cut off all land lines, cell phones, no internet (unless you have a satellite dish), the riots in Belmopan between warring political parties, the BDF and Special Unit for crowd control and to quell the riot. Cousin against cousin in this country of cousins. A few people will get shot and everyone will back off again. Things got VERY quiet on Caye Caulker for a long time with no phone, no way to process credit cards, no way for the tourists to get cash advances on their plastic, flights delayed or postponed because of civil unrest, tourists fleeing like a hurricane is bearing down on them, and NOT COMING BACK.
Simple equation for Belize: no tourists = no money
Which color are you and why?
The other day I opened the San Pedro Sun newspaper up and saw my sister-in-law Miss Ophelia center stage photo on a full page PUP advertisement for Mel Spain, who is running for area representative Belize Rural South, which is the district that Caye Caulker is in. Nice photo of Miss Feli, I kept the ad.
Business has been a little bit slow all over Caye Caulker these last few weeks, so the idle chat and discussion has inevitably turned to politics between Shirls and me. Shirls is the daytime DJ and barista for the store. I can tell the weather before I even get out of bed in the morning because she plays Norah Jones when its raining. She's a CNN watcher and I've done my best to explain American politics, the house and the senate, what a primary election is, what the electoral college is (who knows?) recalling 7th grade American history class and 11th grade government class (which I wasn't paying attention in anyway).
She won't admit what party she's supporting for Prime Minister, but her favorites for area representative are mostly UDP, where mine are mostly PUP. Her choices are on what the area representative has done for the people, my choices tend to be how handsome the candidate is, and how well I like his voice. Francis Fonseca (swoon), Cordell Hyde (hot flash), Godfrey Smith (blush), and Mark Espat (o.k. he's not as cute as the others, but I like him anyway) I don't mind seeing Said Musa as the prime minister, because he has a full head of hair, but he's SO SHORT. Dean Barrow (the opposition candidate for PM) is bald with a head so shiney you could see your reflection in it, and when you mute the TV (as I usually do when they are talking politics) his gestures look like he's trying to imitate the Pope.
I am not politically minded, but here is Lee's Quickstart Political Guide for foreigners. Any Belizean reading this post should feel to correct me in the comments area as I am not educated on these things. These are my observations and point of view. At the end of the day none of it matters anyway because they are all corrupt. Governments are all corrupt, power corrupts because people are basically greedy. I say people get into politics because they don't want to get a real job.
Belize has no term limits. The Prime Minister could be relected again and again and again. And like any system that has no term limits and does not have an elected senate, they just get better and better at hiding the money.
Four parties are running.
The PUP (blue) is currently in power both the Prime Minister Said Musa, and the majority of the senate, plus most area representatives are PUP. If I had to compare this party to a U.S. political party I would say they are like the Republicans. The PUP is being supported by Hugo Chavez (the devil according to some Americans) from Venezuela, and is also being supported by the U.S. government. The U.S. ambassador was here on Caye Caulker the other day to attend the ground breaking for the new water treatment plant on Caye Caulker. And if that's not campaigning, I don't know what is.
The UDP (red) is the main opposition for Prime Minister. Dean Barrow (a lawyer)Belize City
is running for the office of Prime Minister. Belize City went through quite an upset a few years ago when Ms. Zenaida Moya a young Belizean Woman with her master's degree from The University of Detroit won the office of Mayoress, and the whole political dynamic from PUP to UDP. Zenaida Moya is NOT AFRAID TO TELL YOU OFF! I kinda like her, she has nice hair. If I had to compare this party to a U.S. political party, I would say they are like the Democrats.
The NRP (orange) is a new party with a Mennonite running for Prime Minister.
The VIP (not sure what color, let's just make them green)
Signs of the Times
The atmosphere is heating up with political rallies selling 3 dolla beers, giving away t-shirts, umbrellas, slogans painted on telephone poles, hand painted signs in front yards. In the last few weeks I've been up the Northern Highway all the way to Corozal. and I've been out the Western Highway as far as San Ignacio. If signs are the judge of things, all those little villages in the north are hardback PUP, and all the villages from Belmopan to the western border are UDP. And of course, the south is always red. The funniest sign I read was posted way high up in someone's roadside mango tree and read "UDP would sell dey mother" Trees painted blue with a white X on them, telephone poles with red swaths of paint marking territory. Up and down, red, blue, red, blue. Red t-shirts, blue umbrellas, red signs, blue billboards.
As for our own area representative, Manuel Heredia (UDP) . I can see that he's a man who works hard for San Pedro. Too bad he's forgotten about little Caye Caulker over here struggling just to maintain, struggling to keep our nose above water. In Belize, they call the non-elected party member for an area, the Standard Bearer. Mel Spain is the PUP standard bearer for Belize Rural South, and it looks like she could do something for Caye Caulker, but I think the people of San Pedro aren't disillusioned with Manuel Heredia yet. If Mel Spain isn't elected as area representative, she will still be working with the government representing the PUP.
My Prediction for Friday Morning:
There is no clear winner for me. Its a toss up. Will there be voter fraud? Probably. We just might need U.N. Peacekeeping forces here.
Although everyone is tired of the present administration, I don't believe Belize is ready for Dean Barrow to be Prime Minister. I'm putting into written words what I'm hearing from people on the street. They are ready for a change. If the UDP had a Spanish candidate then it would be a sure victory.
If the PUP loses the election for prime minister, they will bow out gracefully, covering their asses nicely on the way out. With a changeover in government they will be so disorganized, that for about a year they leave us alone and stop harrass.
If the UDP loses the election we better prepare for a little civil war. Remember the little civil war we went through in May of 2004 when the UDP incited a general strike? The teachers were on strike, the telecommunications strike which cut off all land lines, cell phones, no internet (unless you have a satellite dish), the riots in Belmopan between warring political parties, the BDF and Special Unit for crowd control and to quell the riot. Cousin against cousin in this country of cousins. A few people will get shot and everyone will back off again. Things got VERY quiet on Caye Caulker for a long time with no phone, no way to process credit cards, no way for the tourists to get cash advances on their plastic, flights delayed or postponed because of civil unrest, tourists fleeing like a hurricane is bearing down on them, and NOT COMING BACK.
Simple equation for Belize: no tourists = no money
Which color are you and why?
Monday, February 04, 2008
Three Words I Never Like to Say on Your Wedding Day
Cold. Dismal. Bleak. = RAIN
Rain = BAD PHOTOS
It all started with a phone call to Mr. Wizard who is my BFF, and his wife is my substitute mother. I love playing trivia with them on my team, we always win. ALWAYS.
Back to the camera. You see, I was getting a little crackling looking thing on the edge of my pictures. Sometimes you could see it, sometimes you couldn’t. So I called Mr. Wizard. I had taken the lens off, checked it, nothing there, checked the interior mirrors, looked clear, and knew I had to look deeper.
Mr. Wizard said it was probably the camera sensor which needed to be cleaned. It was quite the delicate job, and you had to be VEEERRRYYY CAAARRREEEFFFUULL (I know when he slows his speech down for me, that I need to listen closely) He would be happy to clean it for me, if I wanted to bring it over.
No thanks, I said, I think I can do it. (mistake #1)
Ooooo. Kaaaaaaay he said slowly. Everyone has a retarded friend who you help to do what you think are the most basic things. I am his retarded friend.
I opened the camera, gently flipped back the mirror like he said and opened the shutter. The little fuzz wouldn’t move, so I blew on it. (mistake #2)
Those of you cameraphiles have now just taken in a big gasp of air, because you KNOW what I just did.
Later I looked it up in the manual and it says there in big bold words… DO NOT BLOW ON THE SENSOR BECAUSE YOU CAN DAMAGE THE SHUTTER.
In addition to getting spit on the sensor, the force of my little (big) puff of air was that I had damaged one of the very thin delicate shutter louvers ($180 U.S. to repair it… in
the U.S.)
This is at 11 a.m. and I’m shooting a wedding at 2 p.m.
5 minutes later I call him back…
Mr Wizard: are you calling me back to tell me that you broke your camera?
Me: uuhhh
Mr. Wizard: tee hee (he never says I Told You SO, he just laughs at me)
Me: uuhhh, yeah.
Mr. Wizard: do you need to borrow a camera?
Me: If I could…
Mr. Wizard: cmon out.
So, I hop on the motorbike and head out. They live way to the
back, on the sunset side in a very quiet neighborhood of retired Belizeans and expats who have built their island retirements homes.
On the way it starts to drizzle.
G R E A T
These poor (not really poor) people from America have been planning this wedding for 6 months, brought 40 family members with them. In U.S. standards a wedding with 40 people is small, for Caye Caulker standards this is big news.
Sinking feeling segues into icky in the bottom of your stomach.
“We’ll see, we’ll see,” I say to myself
“Just wait, just wait, you never know how things will turn out.” I sooth my feelings.
I arrive at Mr. Wizard’s house. He has the camera ready, and goes over the basic functions with me. I try not to be confused as he puts it into a Pe
lican case (with the quick start guide). And truth be told, it’s a much (way) fancier camera than my Canon EOS, it’s a Nikon something or other. I shot a wedding at their house under the 4th floor palapa rooftop a couple of years ago for them, so I’ve used the camera. That familiarization lesson seems a century ago.
I feel my pressure up as I put the pelican case into the back blue bubble looking carrier on the motorcycle.
And then it starts to P O U R.
I decide to stop at the bride’s accommodations, its two hours before the beach portraits are going to start and they aren’t going to be done today. I always leave room to reschedule the beach portraits which usually happen before the ceremony. I get to the bride’s house and she informs me with a cheerful spirit that the big sailboat that we were supposed to go on a sunset cruise after the ceremony has engine trouble and that has been cancelled also. I don’t want to tell her that my camera broke and I’ve borrowed a camera from Mr. Wizard, but somehow I blurt it out… and I feel better.
She takes it in stride, “That’s cool.” she says, “I know the pictures will look nice.”
(and I think to myself… not nice in the rain... no amount of Photoshop will be able to fix this... and I want to cry)
I head off on the motorbike taking the circumspect route of driving around giant craters temporarily filled with muddy coral sand water on airstrip road and cut over to the beach path as soon as I can get clear. I ride gently as I don't want to risk having the borrowed camera flip out of the blue carrier bubble.
I lay down on the bed at home.
No TV, no CD player blasting, windows and doors closed.
Must. Need. Quiet.
I hate being more nervous than the bride.
The ceremony starts at 4 p.m., the wind is whipping.
The rain lets up and the sun comes out for about 5 minutes. Long enough to do the ceremony shot completely with a flash, a first for me, fumbling for settings and jockeying for position amongst the guests with cameras (Oh. The. Horror). Cold. Lifeless. Nothing I can do. I can not stop the rain coming quickly and blotting out the sun.
The reception (at the Rainbow) had a lot of special touches, an attention to details that we often skip here on Caye Caulker. Real cloth tablecloths and napkins, deep turquoise glasses for drinking champagne, light turquoise sheer runners down the middle of each table, light and fresh. Little gift boxes at each place setting filled with French chocolates, low votive candles, orchids, a program tucked into a napkin. Simple, clean and elegant.
After dinner a slide show is projected from a Mac laptop onto a sheet tacked to the wall. Baby pictures, awkward adolescence, graduations, moms and dads. Its really touching to be a stranger in the midst of friends, like a voyeur into their life.
After the slide show it was time to get on down and boogie like John Travolta. They have loaded all their favorite tracks onto an ipod and hooked it up to the Rainbow's stereo system, and it works flawless.
I left at 10 p.m., out of shots, tired, cold and wet. I spent the next day in bed. Achy, trying not to get sick.
Every day for the next 4 days we check the satellite. Every day, every day, all day rain. I know I can’t deliver cold lifeless photos or I’ll need to refund back some of their money. The internet is a tool and a weapon. One bad recommendation and it could finish you here in such a small place. I love and fear the internet.
The morning of the day they were to leave, the weather cleared and we did it! Crisp clear sparkly pictures. An hour on the beach netted 20 ooo-sha-boo-boo lalalalalalala pictures.
Phew!
It all started with a phone call to Mr. Wizard who is my BFF, and his wife is my substitute mother. I love playing trivia with them on my team, we always win. ALWAYS.
Back to the camera. You see, I was getting a little crackling looking thing on the edge of my pictures. Sometimes you could see it, sometimes you couldn’t. So I called Mr. Wizard. I had taken the lens off, checked it, nothing there, checked the interior mirrors, looked clear, and knew I had to look deeper.
Mr. Wizard said it was probably the camera sensor which needed to be cleaned. It was quite the delicate job, and you had to be VEEERRRYYY CAAARRREEEFFFUULL (I know when he slows his speech down for me, that I need to listen closely) He would be happy to clean it for me, if I wanted to bring it over.
No thanks, I said, I think I can do it. (mistake #1)Ooooo. Kaaaaaaay he said slowly. Everyone has a retarded friend who you help to do what you think are the most basic things. I am his retarded friend.
I opened the camera, gently flipped back the mirror like he said and opened the shutter. The little fuzz wouldn’t move, so I blew on it. (mistake #2)
Those of you cameraphiles have now just taken in a big gasp of air, because you KNOW what I just did.
Later I looked it up in the manual and it says there in big bold words… DO NOT BLOW ON THE SENSOR BECAUSE YOU CAN DAMAGE THE SHUTTER.
In addition to getting spit on the sensor, the force of my little (big) puff of air was that I had damaged one of the very thin delicate shutter louvers ($180 U.S. to repair it… in
the U.S.)This is at 11 a.m. and I’m shooting a wedding at 2 p.m.
5 minutes later I call him back…
Mr Wizard: are you calling me back to tell me that you broke your camera?
Me: uuhhh
Mr. Wizard: tee hee (he never says I Told You SO, he just laughs at me)
Me: uuhhh, yeah.
Mr. Wizard: do you need to borrow a camera?
Me: If I could…
Mr. Wizard: cmon out.
So, I hop on the motorbike and head out. They live way to the
back, on the sunset side in a very quiet neighborhood of retired Belizeans and expats who have built their island retirements homes.On the way it starts to drizzle.
G R E A T
These poor (not really poor) people from America have been planning this wedding for 6 months, brought 40 family members with them. In U.S. standards a wedding with 40 people is small, for Caye Caulker standards this is big news.
Sinking feeling segues into icky in the bottom of your stomach.
“We’ll see, we’ll see,” I say to myself
“Just wait, just wait, you never know how things will turn out.” I sooth my feelings.
I arrive at Mr. Wizard’s house. He has the camera ready, and goes over the basic functions with me. I try not to be confused as he puts it into a Pe
lican case (with the quick start guide). And truth be told, it’s a much (way) fancier camera than my Canon EOS, it’s a Nikon something or other. I shot a wedding at their house under the 4th floor palapa rooftop a couple of years ago for them, so I’ve used the camera. That familiarization lesson seems a century ago.I feel my pressure up as I put the pelican case into the back blue bubble looking carrier on the motorcycle.
And then it starts to P O U R.
I decide to stop at the bride’s accommodations, its two hours before the beach portraits are going to start and they aren’t going to be done today. I always leave room to reschedule the beach portraits which usually happen before the ceremony. I get to the bride’s house and she informs me with a cheerful spirit that the big sailboat that we were supposed to go on a sunset cruise after the ceremony has engine trouble and that has been cancelled also. I don’t want to tell her that my camera broke and I’ve borrowed a camera from Mr. Wizard, but somehow I blurt it out… and I feel better.She takes it in stride, “That’s cool.” she says, “I know the pictures will look nice.”
(and I think to myself… not nice in the rain... no amount of Photoshop will be able to fix this... and I want to cry)
I head off on the motorbike taking the circumspect route of driving around giant craters temporarily filled with muddy coral sand water on airstrip road and cut over to the beach path as soon as I can get clear. I ride gently as I don't want to risk having the borrowed camera flip out of the blue carrier bubble.
I lay down on the bed at home.
No TV, no CD player blasting, windows and doors closed.
Must. Need. Quiet.
I hate being more nervous than the bride.
The ceremony starts at 4 p.m., the wind is whipping.
The rain lets up and the sun comes out for about 5 minutes. Long enough to do the ceremony shot completely with a flash, a first for me, fumbling for settings and jockeying for position amongst the guests with cameras (Oh. The. Horror). Cold. Lifeless. Nothing I can do. I can not stop the rain coming quickly and blotting out the sun.
The reception (at the Rainbow) had a lot of special touches, an attention to details that we often skip here on Caye Caulker. Real cloth tablecloths and napkins, deep turquoise glasses for drinking champagne, light turquoise sheer runners down the middle of each table, light and fresh. Little gift boxes at each place setting filled with French chocolates, low votive candles, orchids, a program tucked into a napkin. Simple, clean and elegant.After dinner a slide show is projected from a Mac laptop onto a sheet tacked to the wall. Baby pictures, awkward adolescence, graduations, moms and dads. Its really touching to be a stranger in the midst of friends, like a voyeur into their life.
After the slide show it was time to get on down and boogie like John Travolta. They have loaded all their favorite tracks onto an ipod and hooked it up to the Rainbow's stereo system, and it works flawless.
I left at 10 p.m., out of shots, tired, cold and wet. I spent the next day in bed. Achy, trying not to get sick.
Every day for the next 4 days we check the satellite. Every day, every day, all day rain. I know I can’t deliver cold lifeless photos or I’ll need to refund back some of their money. The internet is a tool and a weapon. One bad recommendation and it could finish you here in such a small place. I love and fear the internet.
The morning of the day they were to leave, the weather cleared and we did it! Crisp clear sparkly pictures. An hour on the beach netted 20 ooo-sha-boo-boo lalalalalalala pictures.
Phew!
Dontcha Wish You were Here?
Superbowl in Belize
Superbowl Sunday at the Barrier Reef Sports Bar here on Caye Caulker with 6 big TVs going and one giant screen.
The girls at the bar serving up the coldest damn draft on the island
Lloyd, the local book maker doing the squares thingy
And what tailgate party is complete without the cute boy and the drinking contest.
Lloyd, the local book maker doing the squares thingy
And what tailgate party is complete without the cute boy and the drinking contest.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Weather Report
I think Nelly said it best:
Hot in.....So hot in heerre.....So hot in.....
Oh Wan' a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.
Its gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes (eh)
(Background voice: uh uh uh uh uh) I am gettin to hot, I wanna take my clothes off(repeat)
----------------------------------------------------------------
I ask myself this question: if you're wondering... this is Lee and not more lyrics to the Nelly song.
I ask myself this question: is it hot in here or is it a hot flash?
Its hot in here.
The tourists are loving it, no rain for days....
I'm photographing a wedding tomorrow and no chance of rain.
Hot in.....So hot in heerre.....So hot in.....
Oh Wan' a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.
Its gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes (eh)
(Background voice: uh uh uh uh uh) I am gettin to hot, I wanna take my clothes off(repeat)
----------------------------------------------------------------
I ask myself this question: if you're wondering... this is Lee and not more lyrics to the Nelly song.
I ask myself this question: is it hot in here or is it a hot flash?
Its hot in here.
The tourists are loving it, no rain for days....
I'm photographing a wedding tomorrow and no chance of rain.
What's a Girl to do?
An evening out visiting with the ladies in Belmopan. We enjoyed a medium size bottle of rum split between 6 girls, just enough liquor to loosen the tongues. The men went outside to talk about whatever it is men talk about. Cars, motorcycles, engines, beer and pretty gials. They enjoyed a GALLON of rum split between 4.
The ladies however, got right down to business, we talked about our men and how we punish them, err, I mean torture. Well, not really torture, that’s such a negative word with far reaching complications. What I mean is, we each answered the universal question: “How do YOU get your man to mind?”
Many of the ladies I had just met, so I kept quiet while I developed the gut ache you only get from laughing and laughing. Tales of hidden shoes - only the left, hidden wallets, hidden teeth, hidden keys, locking them out, locking them in.
I silently reviewed my choices and realized that none of those techniques would have any effect on Bigness. You see, I am married to a man who doesn’t care what you think about him. If I hid his shoes, he would walk barefoot. If I hid his teeth he would go out gums all aflapping. If I hid the keys there is always the bus, or here on Caye Caulker, no one needs a car anyway. If I hid his wallet, there’s the Sports Bar right downstairs, and a open tab for the landlord. If I locked him out, he would just shake the house until I let him in. If I locked him in, you would see a remake of the Incredible Hulk bursting through a wall, complete with sound effects. After all, he’s a builder and can fix it tomorrow.
So what’s a girl to do? I discovered this quite accidently. CARB OVERLOAD. Pasta, rice, bread, pizza, keeps him sleepy… all the time and out of trouble. Rich desserts. He thinks I'm being a good wife AS HIS EYES ROLL TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND HE SETTLES IN FOR A 2 HOUR SIESTA, shhhh, don't tell him. PROMISE ME YOU WON'T TELL HIM, pinky swear it. I’ve also found that a slight case of food poisoning keeps him at home, but that’s not so fun for me. Ooooooffffff!
One thing I noticed is that none of the ladies used SEX to keep their man home, or at least they weren’t talking about it.
So ladies, here’s a question… how do you keep your man at home? DISCUSS.
And men, if you have any good ideas, SHARE.
The ladies however, got right down to business, we talked about our men and how we punish them, err, I mean torture. Well, not really torture, that’s such a negative word with far reaching complications. What I mean is, we each answered the universal question: “How do YOU get your man to mind?”
Many of the ladies I had just met, so I kept quiet while I developed the gut ache you only get from laughing and laughing. Tales of hidden shoes - only the left, hidden wallets, hidden teeth, hidden keys, locking them out, locking them in.
I silently reviewed my choices and realized that none of those techniques would have any effect on Bigness. You see, I am married to a man who doesn’t care what you think about him. If I hid his shoes, he would walk barefoot. If I hid his teeth he would go out gums all aflapping. If I hid the keys there is always the bus, or here on Caye Caulker, no one needs a car anyway. If I hid his wallet, there’s the Sports Bar right downstairs, and a open tab for the landlord. If I locked him out, he would just shake the house until I let him in. If I locked him in, you would see a remake of the Incredible Hulk bursting through a wall, complete with sound effects. After all, he’s a builder and can fix it tomorrow.
So what’s a girl to do? I discovered this quite accidently. CARB OVERLOAD. Pasta, rice, bread, pizza, keeps him sleepy… all the time and out of trouble. Rich desserts. He thinks I'm being a good wife AS HIS EYES ROLL TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND HE SETTLES IN FOR A 2 HOUR SIESTA, shhhh, don't tell him. PROMISE ME YOU WON'T TELL HIM, pinky swear it. I’ve also found that a slight case of food poisoning keeps him at home, but that’s not so fun for me. Ooooooffffff!
One thing I noticed is that none of the ladies used SEX to keep their man home, or at least they weren’t talking about it.
So ladies, here’s a question… how do you keep your man at home? DISCUSS.
And men, if you have any good ideas, SHARE.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Miss Manners Says....
...don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Miss Lee says... timing is everything and with the general election less than 1 month away...
well, you've got my vote if you can get clean water to Caye Caulker, that is, if I could vote.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Government of Belize Press Release:
Government and BWSL Sign Agreement to Construct a New Water System in Caye CaulkerBelmopan - 08 January, 2008Prime Minister of Belize and Minister of National Development, Rt. Hon. Said Musa, and Chairman of the Board of Directors for Belize Water Services Ltd. (BWSL), Mr. Norris Hall, today signed an agreement to install a new water system in the village of Caye Caulker. Under the agreement, Government will provide $ 1.75 million while BWSL will provide $ 608,000 to fund the new system which is estimated to cost $ 2.3 million. The scope of the project includes the purchase and installation of a 500 cubic meter reverse osmosis plant, the construction of a 100,000 gallons ferro concrete storage tank, 7.5 miles of PVC distribution and main lines, 500 service connections with meters, two sea water supply wells and one brine disposal well, along with the power supply, standby generator, pumps, controls and other accessories. The project will also fund the supply and installation of an underwater crossing to ensure that water is accessible to the north side of the island. Apart from designing and contributing financially to the system, BWSL will implement the field work, and manage the Caye Caulker water system when it is completed. Over 1500 residents and the numerous tourists who visit Caye Caulker will benefit from this project which will ensure that the village has reliable access to potable water. The new reverse osmosis system will replace the existing system that provides water from a shallow well, but which can only be used for washing and bathing due to contamination of the ground water well that is currently used. The provision of potable water to Caye Caulker is evidence of Government’s support for the continued development of the tourism industry as Caye Caulker is a growing destination for tourists. This decision is also in line with Government’s National Poverty Elimination Strategy and Action Plan 2007–2011 which aims to increase the percentage of Belizeans with access to piped and potable water from 89 % at present to 100 % by 2015. Work is expected to begin immediately with the ordering of the reverse osmosis plant, and the whole system will be completed within 15 months. Additional information about the Caye Caulker Water Project can be obtained from the Ministry of National Development at 822-2526/2527 or from BWSL at 202-0128/0376.
Miss Lee says... timing is everything and with the general election less than 1 month away...
well, you've got my vote if you can get clean water to Caye Caulker, that is, if I could vote.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Government of Belize Press Release:
Government and BWSL Sign Agreement to Construct a New Water System in Caye CaulkerBelmopan - 08 January, 2008Prime Minister of Belize and Minister of National Development, Rt. Hon. Said Musa, and Chairman of the Board of Directors for Belize Water Services Ltd. (BWSL), Mr. Norris Hall, today signed an agreement to install a new water system in the village of Caye Caulker. Under the agreement, Government will provide $ 1.75 million while BWSL will provide $ 608,000 to fund the new system which is estimated to cost $ 2.3 million. The scope of the project includes the purchase and installation of a 500 cubic meter reverse osmosis plant, the construction of a 100,000 gallons ferro concrete storage tank, 7.5 miles of PVC distribution and main lines, 500 service connections with meters, two sea water supply wells and one brine disposal well, along with the power supply, standby generator, pumps, controls and other accessories. The project will also fund the supply and installation of an underwater crossing to ensure that water is accessible to the north side of the island. Apart from designing and contributing financially to the system, BWSL will implement the field work, and manage the Caye Caulker water system when it is completed. Over 1500 residents and the numerous tourists who visit Caye Caulker will benefit from this project which will ensure that the village has reliable access to potable water. The new reverse osmosis system will replace the existing system that provides water from a shallow well, but which can only be used for washing and bathing due to contamination of the ground water well that is currently used. The provision of potable water to Caye Caulker is evidence of Government’s support for the continued development of the tourism industry as Caye Caulker is a growing destination for tourists. This decision is also in line with Government’s National Poverty Elimination Strategy and Action Plan 2007–2011 which aims to increase the percentage of Belizeans with access to piped and potable water from 89 % at present to 100 % by 2015. Work is expected to begin immediately with the ordering of the reverse osmosis plant, and the whole system will be completed within 15 months. Additional information about the Caye Caulker Water Project can be obtained from the Ministry of National Development at 822-2526/2527 or from BWSL at 202-0128/0376.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
No One Ever Expects The Spanish Inquisition
The call came in at 7:15 a.m.
You know for yourself when the phone rings late or early, its never good news.
Policeman: Mr. Bigness needs to get to your property on the mainland right away, there's been a break in.
Bigness missed the 7:30 boat by minutes and had to wait until 8:30 a.m. to get off Caye Caulker.
It takes me about 3 times through to get the story straight, so here's the straightened version.
So, let's back up 3 weeks. Just before Christmas, the house was robbed while Bigness was taking a siesta midday. I was on Caye Caulker and got a weird feeling so I called him, woke him up, and what we didn't know at that moment was that someone was in the house. They had gotten up to the room just before the bedroom that Bigness was sleeping in. The call scared them off, as it roused him from a deep carb induced sleep. They went with what they could carry quickly, a blender which worked on only 1 speed, a pair of "fake" diamond earrings, the weed whacker, a dvd player but not the remote or the cables, a saw and a drill. But they got a good look at the collection of electronics that Bigness has collected over the years. Nice TV (we only get 1 local station... sometimes), nice stereo, nice nice things. The house is like a fortress, we have burglar bars on all the windows, strong burglar bar screen doors and steel inner doors. Bigness had fallen asleep with the lock flipped on the burglar bar door, but didn't have the deadbolt lock on, and the steel door was open. Its broad daylight. Who would bother you in broad daylight?
Mistake #1 The crime wasn't reported to the police.
On a closer inspection we could see where someone had attempted to unscrew the burglar bars on one of the bedroom windows, near a large leafy bush they were using for cover. So, Bigness chopped down all the bushes near the house and installed two additional exterior lights.
Fast forward to December 28, the call came in at 7:15 a.m. The policeman was calling from our front verandah, guarding the house so that it wouldn't be looted in his absence. A few minutes before a neighbor heard a ruckus, saw what was happening. There are only 2 policemen to guard an area with at least 350 homes over a several sqare mile area. He had to come on foot because they have no cars to patrol. He came with his gun, just in time to get a good description of the car that was driving away. The smart man that he is, called the police stations in either direction (east and west) and reported the theft, and description of the car. There is only 1 main road between Belize City and San Ignacio. The theives headed toward Belize City and 15 minutes later were caught in Hattieville at a road block. Bigness makes a quick call to family in Belmopan who rush the 20 miles over to the house to relieve the policeman. Its frustrating to be stuck on an island.
By the time Bigness got off the island and to the mainland, they had caught the 3 little career criminals. He paid a visit to them at the Hattieville police station, not one of which was over the age of 20.
All that was left was to clean up the mess. The robbers had taken a big chain, hooked it through the burglar bar door at one end, and hooked it to the bumper of their car and pulled the massive door off, then pryed the metal door open with a crow bar.
They left me a gift in the front yard. The 3 spare tires they had been carrying in their trunk.
Maybe I'll make hillbilly planters out of them. Remember the thing about making lemonaid out of lemons...
He called me later to give me the rundown on damage... and exclaimed that those suckers (read it with an F) had srayed big gobs of paint on the ceiling of my studio... and I sheepishly had to explain that I did that the last time I was working... some paint got stuck in a squeeze bottle and you can guess the rest... splat.
Interesting factoid: NO ART WAS STOLEN.
The arraignment was on Monday, Dec 31, where they plead NOT GUILTY, so the trial is set for some time in February or March. The robbers were immediately remanded to Hattieville Prison with no bail.
I'll keep you posted.
You know for yourself when the phone rings late or early, its never good news.
Policeman: Mr. Bigness needs to get to your property on the mainland right away, there's been a break in.
Bigness missed the 7:30 boat by minutes and had to wait until 8:30 a.m. to get off Caye Caulker.
It takes me about 3 times through to get the story straight, so here's the straightened version.
So, let's back up 3 weeks. Just before Christmas, the house was robbed while Bigness was taking a siesta midday. I was on Caye Caulker and got a weird feeling so I called him, woke him up, and what we didn't know at that moment was that someone was in the house. They had gotten up to the room just before the bedroom that Bigness was sleeping in. The call scared them off, as it roused him from a deep carb induced sleep. They went with what they could carry quickly, a blender which worked on only 1 speed, a pair of "fake" diamond earrings, the weed whacker, a dvd player but not the remote or the cables, a saw and a drill. But they got a good look at the collection of electronics that Bigness has collected over the years. Nice TV (we only get 1 local station... sometimes), nice stereo, nice nice things. The house is like a fortress, we have burglar bars on all the windows, strong burglar bar screen doors and steel inner doors. Bigness had fallen asleep with the lock flipped on the burglar bar door, but didn't have the deadbolt lock on, and the steel door was open. Its broad daylight. Who would bother you in broad daylight?
Mistake #1 The crime wasn't reported to the police.
On a closer inspection we could see where someone had attempted to unscrew the burglar bars on one of the bedroom windows, near a large leafy bush they were using for cover. So, Bigness chopped down all the bushes near the house and installed two additional exterior lights.
Fast forward to December 28, the call came in at 7:15 a.m. The policeman was calling from our front verandah, guarding the house so that it wouldn't be looted in his absence. A few minutes before a neighbor heard a ruckus, saw what was happening. There are only 2 policemen to guard an area with at least 350 homes over a several sqare mile area. He had to come on foot because they have no cars to patrol. He came with his gun, just in time to get a good description of the car that was driving away. The smart man that he is, called the police stations in either direction (east and west) and reported the theft, and description of the car. There is only 1 main road between Belize City and San Ignacio. The theives headed toward Belize City and 15 minutes later were caught in Hattieville at a road block. Bigness makes a quick call to family in Belmopan who rush the 20 miles over to the house to relieve the policeman. Its frustrating to be stuck on an island.
By the time Bigness got off the island and to the mainland, they had caught the 3 little career criminals. He paid a visit to them at the Hattieville police station, not one of which was over the age of 20.
All that was left was to clean up the mess. The robbers had taken a big chain, hooked it through the burglar bar door at one end, and hooked it to the bumper of their car and pulled the massive door off, then pryed the metal door open with a crow bar.
They left me a gift in the front yard. The 3 spare tires they had been carrying in their trunk.
Maybe I'll make hillbilly planters out of them. Remember the thing about making lemonaid out of lemons...
He called me later to give me the rundown on damage... and exclaimed that those suckers (read it with an F) had srayed big gobs of paint on the ceiling of my studio... and I sheepishly had to explain that I did that the last time I was working... some paint got stuck in a squeeze bottle and you can guess the rest... splat.
Interesting factoid: NO ART WAS STOLEN.
The arraignment was on Monday, Dec 31, where they plead NOT GUILTY, so the trial is set for some time in February or March. The robbers were immediately remanded to Hattieville Prison with no bail.
I'll keep you posted.
Monday, January 07, 2008
What the Heck?
People, you better make up your minds fast because the Prime Minister of Belize, Said Musa has just announced this morning that the general election is set for Feb 7.
Read the press release below
--------------------------------------------------------
Prime Minister Musa sets General Election Date
Belmopan - 07 January, 2008
The Prime Minister, Rt. Hon. Said Musa and members of his Cabinet met this morning at the Princess Hotel and Casino with members of the clergy for a breakfast meeting.During the meeting, which was attended by a majority of Belize’s clergy, the Prime Minister announced that he will advise the Governor-General to dissolve the National Assembly today and set Thursday, February 7th as Election Day.The Prime Minister also announced that on that same day, Belizean voters will participate in a referendum which will be on a separate ballot on the question whether Belize should have an elected senate.The Prime Minister said that he was honoured that the clergy had come out in support and he asked them to pray for peace during the campaign period.
Read the press release below
--------------------------------------------------------
Prime Minister Musa sets General Election Date
Belmopan - 07 January, 2008
The Prime Minister, Rt. Hon. Said Musa and members of his Cabinet met this morning at the Princess Hotel and Casino with members of the clergy for a breakfast meeting.During the meeting, which was attended by a majority of Belize’s clergy, the Prime Minister announced that he will advise the Governor-General to dissolve the National Assembly today and set Thursday, February 7th as Election Day.The Prime Minister also announced that on that same day, Belizean voters will participate in a referendum which will be on a separate ballot on the question whether Belize should have an elected senate.The Prime Minister said that he was honoured that the clergy had come out in support and he asked them to pray for peace during the campaign period.
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