Friday, September 15, 2006

Recipe for Bamboo Chicken

Me: so how do you catch the Iguana?
Bushman: with yur hand you keychit. You got to be ready dough wid de machet in de rih han kaychim wid de lef han. You see mi machet? I shawp on de tip and on de bottom. Chop he hed offn wid the bottom ah de machet.
Me: Oooo Keeeyyy (he shows me his 30" machette is sharp at the tip and by the handle only)
Bushman: Den you stick de nife in he belly just like wan fish yew gut he and peel de skeen offa heen.
Me: Oooo Keeeyyy
Bushman: afta you skin he, mek I tell yu sonting, you mek suuur you gat wan greeeen guana, not like wat you hav pon de Caye, dems noh good eatin, wha big greeeen guana what we like.
Me: how do you take the skin off?
Busman: you do eet just like you do wan fish, just skin it. Den you gat to hang it by de tail from de tree to let all the slime come out.
Me: Slime?
Bushman: yes gial, you cyan eet de guana wid de slime.
Me: What does the slime look like?
Bushman: eet look like slime. Gial, yew see de slime yew noh wantta eet de guana, yew tew delikate like dem Merikan laydeez.
Me: What color is the slime?
Bushman: gial, slime IS slime me no noh wha kala is de slime.
Me: How long do you hang the iguana in the tree by its tail?
Bushman: kupla hours. Den you gat to lime it real good.
Me: how do you do that?
Bushman: You gat to squeeze de lime all over it and rub he wid de lime and let he soak for a coupla hours.
Me: O.K.
Bushman: den you ken bubbakew he.
Me: O.K. how do you cut the iguana up?
Bushman: whaaaaale, I brek he showda and chop off he feet and chop he on de elbow. Den I chop he belly in a couple peese, and chop he tayl.
Me: how do you barbeque him.
Bushman: Gial you just bubbakew he (I sense he's getting frustrated with having to explain everything to me.)
Me: what spices do you use when you barbeque?
Bushman: salt n peppa, gaaalik, tarrey yakki soy sawce, an peppa sawce.
Me: what does it taste like?
Bushman: chicken


La Gringa said...

Eeeeww! We have big iguanas here, too. Workers always want to catch them to eat them but I won't let them. They are my iguanas and I want them alive, not barbecued!

Caribbean Colors said...

Well if you ver change your mind, now you have the instructions. Now Bushman tells me... IMPORTANT INFORMATION you can't eat the males, only the females and they are the easiest to catch during mating season (whenever that is) I asked him how you can tell if its male or female, and he said, you can just tell... flip den ting ova.

Cream said...

Sounds like a delicious delicacy, Lee! Wow, and I love the way you've transcribed the accent!
Taste like chicken! Hahaha!

Guyana-Gyal said...

Cream, it's true...EVERYBODY who's eaten it says it tastes like chicken. Not me, I ain't never eat it and I ain't planning to!!! Especially after that slime part.

Mary Beth said... had me goin'. What a great set-up and then the comic punch line. I never saw it comin'. Thanks for the laugh today, Your Royal Highness of Caye Comedy. MB

Jill said...

This is going to sound weird, but I think that I was in your gallery on Saturday. I should have followed this link a little earlier!

La Gringa said...

Someone tricked me into eating a bite once. They said it was chicken. It was so darn tough I couldn't chew it -- that tipped me off right away that it wasn't chicken.00000000000000000000000000000

Oops! That last part was my chihuahua laying his head on the keyboard.