... because I don't want Freaky White Granny to know I'm home.
She's calling herself Hot & Spicy now, but its more like Olde Spice, with crusty edges. Hey, I don't begrudge her getting her groove on with a younger black unemployed homeless man.
Bigness made me write an eviction notice and tape it to her door.
In Belize, if you are not Belizean, you can just hand someone back their money and tell them to get the F off your property. No fuss, no muss, no ACLU, no Jesse Jackson.
The letter went something like this.
Dear Teacher Carol,
Bigness has decided that he does not want to rent to you anymore. He has estimated the upcoming electric bill and applied part of the rent you have paid towards it. Your last day occupying the apartment is Sept. 15, 2005.
I didn't waste energy writing the reasons, like, when you get home at 2 a.m. and have a screaming arguement with your crackhead boyfriend, it wakes me up and I can't get back to sleep and then I have to go serve coffee to unsuspecting tourists, AND BE NICE.
As soon as they start getting busy in there with the spanky, I'm going to turn the TV to a church program REAL LOUD. Obviously torturing them with Enya did not work.