Sunday, September 04, 2005

Contemplating the Meaning of Life

Having my question answered by Useless Advice From Useless Men was almost as exciting as winning on E-bay, especially since no one will ship to Belize.

QUESTION # 101: NEKKID WEB
Dear Useless Men,
I have a question for you. Why does everyone pretend that they don't blog nekked when we all know we do?
--Lee

Dear Lee,
I don't know what you're talking about; while I don't have a blog of my own, getting suited up to use the internet is quite an ordeal. I imagine it to be somewhat like the ordeal astronauts must go through before walking on the moon or any other fictional object. I have, on my payroll, several apprentice Useless Men simply to help me get dressed to use the internet. They are not unlike the squires of old, fitting armor on their knight. First the boots, then the greaves, the torso, the pauldrons, the gloves, and finally the helmet until I am a fortified force of formidable ferocity.Actually, I don't do any of this.I just said it because, having browsed Am I Hot or Not, I am convinced that many of the internet users out there should and, most importantly, never take it off. Blogging naked is a horror I will for now relegate to the boundaries of a bleak and tragic future, the heralding of which I hope never comes. So keep your pants on!
Sincerely,
Just Plain Useless

I got an equally funny answer from Denny Shane at Not So Normal News

And Finally... I Never Thought I'd See The End...
Dear Answerman: I have a question for you. Why does everyone pretend that they don't blog nekked when we all know we do?
Signed Caribbean Colors

Answerman: Dear CC, I know CC, I know... it's disgusting, I mean that they don't admit it. I think all naked bloggers should send me their pictures to prove they blog naked. And then I want to know if all naked bloggers have cameras hooked up to their computers. And then I want to know what time they're all on. And then I want to know where they go on cam while they are naked. And then I want to know what they do while on camera naked while blogging. Am I asking too many questions here? lol

14 comments:

Guyana-Gyal said...

Even if a body wanted to blog nekkid in this here house, it's next to impossible.

Somebody, some stranger always passing through.

Dan Flynn said...

I am soooo embarrassed. How did you know? Don't get me wrong it's not the nekkidness but the bloody mess behind me, I know I know, not dusted for ages, and those sheets, and that plate left from Sunday, and that apple core is going straight out of the window, those empty wine bottles? It's a trick of the light there's really only two, well three, okay so you can see the other one behind the empty bottle of Jim Beam, jeeeze gimme a break will yer!

Dan Flynn said...

God, I'm only passing through...

Dan Flynn said...

and you're so strict...

Dan Flynn said...

and yes I do know where the hoover is...

Dan Flynn said...

Hang on, mother? Is that you? No, phew had me worried for a moment there...

Dan Flynn said...

like your blog...

Dan Flynn said...

x

Guyana-Gyal said...

There goes Dan, leaving a trail behind him...I wonder what he wears in winter...

Rev. Dennis J. Shane, D.D., ULC said...

laugh... you're too funny CC... ;)

Rainypete said...

I think Denny should be careful what he wishes for!! I know if I had to watch me blog naked I'l pour ammonia in my eye sockets.

Dan Flynn said...

G,

What do I wear in Winter? When blogging? Now now, the most I'll admit is a passing attraction to things knitted... I'm saying no more... don't try and force me...no stop... okay a clue then... think single mitten... there you've done it... reduced a serious subject to smut...and before you ask it's not a huge mitten... I'm silent now, no, I really am... you always take things that one step too far... never know where to draw the line... hhmph.

Caribbean Colors said...

Dan, my fashion advice is to wear an oversize tie dye t-shirt (with coffee stains) and hoodie sweatshirt on top, and your wife's sweatpants on bottom with wooly ski socks and birkenstocks, ina neutral color.

Useless Man said...

Getting second opinions? I feel so used.

Then again, our advice was useless. I can't blame for looking around.

Sorry it took so long to comment.