Accidental Blog Meet

Check out Alex and Ombi at Very Itchy Feet as they cruise through the Americas and the Caribbean, making a short stop in Belize where they met two overly caffeinated, I mean cool girls, wearing fringe on the bottom of all their clothes named Jessica and Lee.

Later that week we got to meet a few friends that were on vacation together and who also coincidentally worked for Typepad. Espresso drinks all around, after all, they were from Seattle.

More Merida

A wandering musician came up to our table as we were enjoying highly caffeinated drinks in the morning and sang a song for us. Look at how little the people are here. Bigness is sitting down and is almost as tall as he is. I caught about 1-in-10 words, but Bigness caught them all. They were something like, you’re wife is juicy, she gives you lots of … something or another, she makes you happy, you like to squeeze her… juiciness

Bigness: haw haw haw
Me: what’s he saying?
Bigness: haw haw haw haw, … nothing
Me: no, really what’s he saying?
Bigness: ssshhhhh!
Me: …
Bigness: nothing gial, just a lotta rass. He thinks you’re juicy that’s all.
Me: … I guess they like big ting here too.

The Shopping Trip
(note: none of the photos are of the mall, which is glass and shiny and chrome and looks like every other mall in America, uninteresting)

We decided to go shopping on Saturday. Most of the stores in Merida were closed on Good Friday, but everything opened back up on Saturday. So, we took a long walk in the afternoon, and then a cab to the mall. I had been looking forward to the trip-to-the mall, since it has been nearly two years since I had been shopping for myself. 2 years? With the occasional cast off from Supergirl, I’ve been surviving on my last shopping trip the Thestates from May of 2005. Yes, its true, the elastic on almost everything I own is nearly crumpled up and sprung, and yes I did get that care package of unmentionables mixed in with Bigness’s clothing shipment from my mom. Thank goodness the wardrobes are simple here on Caye Caulker, they consist of bathing suits, a piece of fabric wrapped around your arse and fringe on the bottom of everything. What is considered island fabulous here on Caye Caulker is the subject of open-mouth stares everywhere else. The mall was o.k. It had gotten such rave reviews from friends and family that I expected circus performers hanging from the ceiling. It was basically the same stores that we have in Chetumal, the Liverpool Store with polyester fashions for old ladies, small old ladies. The Chedraui which is like the Target or Walmart of Mexico. We were looking for the fabled JC Penney and Sears that legend had it existed in Merida. We never did find the JC Penney, it appeared on the map at the mall, but round and round we went through the maze of corridors with a layout shaped like a curvy capital H. All we found was a store called “Dorians” where the JC Penney used to be. We (meaning HE) asked and asked mall workers, Where is the JC Penney? Donde esta JC Penney? They would point in this direction or that, as puzzled as we were. We (meaning I) surmised that it was an old map after wandering around aimlessly and frustrated to the point that I needed an ice cream cone to cool my brains. Well if they don’t have the JC Penney and Sears doesn’t even appear on the mall map, where’s the fat ladies’ store? Legend had it that there was a supersize mujer store in Merida, and what better place for it? Round and round we go again, this time looking for the Gordita Mujer Camisa Tienda. For a quick translation of those Spanish words check out www.babelfish.altavista.com
Couldn’t Bigness ask someone where it was? No, (that would make too much sense) and it would involve speaking SPANISH, to a stranger, and we didn’t have much luck finding the JC Penney did we?
So I decided to BRING IT ON, but first I had to practice the words and torture Bigness.

Me: there’s a fat lady (I point with my lips because pointing with my finger is rude)
Bigness: … (looks over there) Me: Ask her
Bigness: ask her what
Me: ask her where she buys her clothes
Bigness: What? You want me to ask her?
Me: well, I’ll do it then.
Me: Help me practice the words.. Discuple, por favor, donde esta tienda para gordita mujer? (notice how when I concentrate I can almost EXPLODE with spanish words)
Me: is that how I say it?
Bigness: gial
Me: whaaaaaaaaaaat
Bigness: you can’t ask a lady where she buys her fat clothes
Me: why not?
Bigness: you can’t say the word gordita, she’ll think you’re calling her fat
Me: she IS fat, and she has to buy her clothes somewhere
Bigness: Gial, noh mek I do dis ting (and he began to seriously crunch down on his ice cream cone)
I’ve noticed when Bigness doesn’t want to do something he all of the sudden loses his ability to speak Spanish, even though its his first language. Remember the incident when I was trying to buy the hormone cream?
Me: well how should I say it?
Bigness: gial, less go
And off we went, the trip to the mall over, no fat girl’s clothes store to be found, no JC Penney, no Sears.

So, the mall was a big letdown, and that night I was relegated to shopping at the marketplace in the city center. My clothes now are not so much clothes now as they are costumes from the movie “Frida” making me look like the proper Spanish wife. That and my new “Sexy Spanish Teacher” glasses with rhinestones on the sides complete the look. Some of the new clothing pieces I will wear in public, some resemble a Mexican lace tablecloth too much and are best worn only at home.

We found Sears the next day, but that’s another story (and a different mall)

Sad News

Popeye passed away Easter weekend. He had been sick for a while, and was taken to Belize City on a stretcher whwere he died at Karl Heusner Memorial Hospital. Anyone who has been to Caye Caulker would remember his sometimes silly, sometimes inspired signs all around Caye Caulker.

Merida Was Lovely

We left Caye Caulker on the Wednesday before Easter and I had hoped to rest up that evening before setting out for Chetumal early the next day. Not so, Bigness, my hyper spastoid husband, wanted to get on the road and even promised that I could shut my eyes and sleep in the car on the way. (gee thanks) So we set off right away for Chet, not stopping anywhere and arrived just before sunset. A 3 hour drive for most, 2 hours when Bigness is at the wheel. We went straight to the Mall of America for our MacDonald’s Big Mac and fries. Belize is probably the only country with no fast food chains, with the exception of one Subway Sub Shop in Belize City.

After nourishing our Big Mac Attack we went straight to Chedraui to the ADO Bis ticket kiosk only to find that all busses to Merida, Mexico were already booked up until 11:30 the next day. So, that meant spending the night in Chetumal. We wasted as much time as we could at the mall before retiring to the little hole-in-the-wall motel we stay at near the Nuevo Mercado. Sometime that night something started biting me, and bit me all around the base of my spine, on my shoulder and on my hands. I woke up feeling yucky, thinking that my caffeine levels were just low. Luckily I had anticipated the coffee low and had brought a thermos of espresso dark brew from home the day before. It helped some, but what was happening was a histamine reaction to whatever was crawling all over me biting my rass all night. They left Bigness alone, the bugs are not crazy, they like sweet white meat. So, we got on the bus at the appointed time and headed off in first class air conditioned comfort on a 5 hour drive to Merida.

According to Yucatecan history, Merida, Mexico was founded by the Spaniard Francisco Montejo in 1542. When the Spaniards arrived, Merida was a large Mayan city known as T’ho. After conquering (read slaughtering) the Mayans, the Spaniards dismantled all the pyramids and used the huge stones as the foundation for the Cathedral of San Idelfonso (1561-1599) the oldest cathedral on the American Continent. You would never know of the bloody history of the Yucatan in its people today, as it is a peaceful and tranquil, safe state.

We arrived just before sunset to the bus terminal in Merida. The best thing about arriving was the Tourist Information booth with an English speaking guide. Yay! The guide gave us a book called Yucatan Today, which has an online edition, in case you want to check it out http://www.yucatantoday.com/ with maps and gave us information on several hotels in our price range. We set out on a hotel hunt and found a room available for 1 night at the second place. So we checked in, showered and set off to find dinner as it had been more than 5 hours since our last meal and you know how Bigness goes when his blood sugar gets low, he just might faint from hunger, and he’s too big to be scraping up off the pavement. We had a fantastic Yucateca style mixed grill meal at this place La Belle Epoca. Yucateca food is not too spicy flavored with achiote. Typical Yucatecan food is -

Lime Soup: a chicken broth made with shredded chicken, bits of fried tortilla and lime juice.

Motul Style Eggs: a tortilla covered with refried beans and a fried egg covered in a tomato sauce, peas, chopped ham and shredded cheese.

Chicken or Pork Pibil. This is a Mayan specialty they also serve in Belize. It is chicken or pork marinated in achiote (annatto spice) sour orange juice, peppercorns, garlic, cumin, salt and then wrapped in banana leaves and baked in a pit dug into the ground.

Panuchos and Salbutes: a thick fried corn tortilla topped with shredded chickengarnished with lettuce, tomato and onion. The difference between Panuchos and Salbute is that panuchos have refried beans inside the tortilla.

Poc Chuc: tender slices of pork marinated in sour orange juice then grilled and served with a tangy tomato sauce and pickled onions.

Frijol con Puerco: the Yucatecan version of pork and beans. Chunks of pork cooked with black beans served with rice and garnished with cilantro, radish and onion.

After dinner we walked around the central park area and then retired for the evening.

The next morning consisted of the hunt for coffee to feed my addiction. Honestly, I feel like a heroin addict sometimes. We were instantly rewarded with double cappuccinos at Café Havanna just 2 blocks away from our hotel and towards the central park. After breakfast we set out to find another hotel as it was Easter weekend and many places were completely full. We found another hotel a block away from our last place for $30 U.S. a night with private bath, hot and cold water, air conditioning, cable TV, and clean clean clean and secure with only 1 entrance/exit and set up like a compound.

I am content to be watching, and not doing, an observer, and not a participant. Bigness on the other hand still suffers from overly mobile joints... more on this travelog later.

Supergirl and UNBaby’s vacation was to San Ignacio and then to Roaring Creek in Belize. When I arrived back on Caye Caulker UNBaby informed me that Jesus is alive again and lives in the belly of the Easter Bunny Basket that she and mommy made out of a one gallon bleach bottle, cotton balls and glue and felt. Also that God can see everything all the time except when you’re in the bathroom he can’t see you go pee.

Elvis Has Left The Building

High season is almost over (sigh) Yes, we love the money, but all of us are e x h a u s t e d. We've been going nonstop, 7 days a week since November of 2006. And for our handsome reward we're closing down for 10 days (starting on Friday) and going somewhere else. Bigness and I are going to Merida for Holy week to see the Easter processionals. Supergirl and UNBaby are going inland to San Ignacio to swim in a pool, eat tacos and reeelllllaaaaaxxxxxxx. Caye Caulker is the equivalent of the Daytona Beach of Belize, with lone drunken stupidness all Easter weekend.

Its been a tough couple of weeks. Temperature rising all around, my energy level has been especially low, and since Ernesto put Bravo TV back on cable, I've had very little inspiration to get up from my afternoon siesta and go back to work. I've tried to pull a "Mommy's tired, why don't we just close for the day" routine. But nonplussed, Supergirl has learned "The Voice" well remembered from her own teenage years (you know, the one I used on her to get her out of bed and off to school)... and she's using my own tricks ... on me.

Ring ring the phone rings... and I know its time to go back to work, its the 15 minute warning call.
Me: I'm tired
Supergirl: whatever MOTHER
Me: ... (uh oh... there's that word MOTHER, so I know I'm in trouble)
Supergirl: 15 minute warning
Me: ... yawn
Supergirl: did you hear me?
Me: yup, but Top Design's on
Supergirl: and?
Me: maybe we should close this afternoon and just open at 4 p.m. (after Top Design's finished)
Supergirl: whatever... (click)
Me: did she jsut hang up on me?

Ring ring the phone rings... 2 seconds later
Supergirl: Get your ass out of bed mother and come to work. We have a few days left until high season is over and you're not going to punk me out... don't make me come up there and rip you out of bed by your ponytail.
Me: uh... o.k.

Is Anyone Else Paying Attention?

This really isn't a political blog. No, really, it isn't. This is just the wandering mind.

Today the NTUCB (National Trade Union Congress of Belize) is calling for a protest march in Belmopan. Calling all of the trade unions in solidarity, especially the Teacher's Union, to protest the government budget hearings which do not adequately provide for the barest minimum living wage for teacher's salaries and in solidarity with the communications workers the firing of the 4 BTL workers.

Timing is Everything
The BTL (phone) strike threat is quelled, for right now. Although, when backed into a corner on the subject, Belize's Prime Minister, Said Musa, said yesterday that he was very disappointed in the BTL firing of the trade union negotiator Christine Perriot. Her firing was badly timed because she was in negotiation on behalf of the union with BTL, at a roundtable discussion that the Labor Minister Francis Fonseca was involved in, over the firing of 3 other employees. It looks like blatent union busting. Thank you Mr. Prime Minister for that jellybean glimmer of hope that the Belizean government might do the right thing. But will they continue to allow the BTL management to run amok?

Is Anyone Else Paying Attention?
What we hear and what we really hear are two different things. Was I the only one that heard the N.R.P. (National Reform Party - the newly formed political party in Belize) Representative Cornelius Dueck (a Mennonite from Spanish Lookout) say the following:
“The U.S. is the best option. I don’t think we should look at Chavez for help. I don’t think he has the solution for Belize. I don’t think Cuba has the solution for Belize. I don’t think China has the solution for Belize but the United States they have the solution what we need.”
“I have savings accounts in different countries that I will bring to Belize eventually and we are not ignorant of the cost. We know that the U.D.P. and the P.U.P. they spend in the area of fifty to a hundred million dollars for an election and we are here to contest them. "

So What is my Point?
Cuba, China and Venezuela all have contributed large amounts of economic aid to Belize, let's not forget that. These countries come up with programs that actually work, and don't try to solve problems by pouring money on them. Am I jumping to conclusions to say that there's a new political party that's formed in Belize backed by the U.S. Government? So how exactly do you bring money from a savings account in "different countries"? Strapped to your belly with duct tape? Or does it come in the diplomatic pouch. My Conspiracy Theory is that there's more going on in that new 50 million dollar U.S. embassy in Belmopan than issuing new passports and traveler's advisories.

Elston Kaseke (the former/fired Solicitor General for Belize), looking worse for the wear, had just come out of jail in San Ignacio after getting drunk and ignorant, had several bashing scrape marks on the side of his head, that the TV cameras picked up nicely, while representing Glenn Godfrey in the DFC Hearings. His head looked like a peeled strawberry.
Check out this link if you want to read about how Elston Kaseke embarrassed Belize when he was Soliciter General.

So What's My Point?
Elston, dude, that's what make up cover up is for. Maybeline makes lots of shades. Use a mirror dude, check out what you look like before you go on TV. (Gosh that's gotta hurt) Learn the hard way like me. I only seem to get interviewed for TV when I'm sunburned, hair not combed, and have mascara running down my face.

I watched the DFC (Development Finance Corporation - Belize's version of HUD or Fannie May) hearings on the local channel and I have to give Commissioner Merlene Bailey-Martinez kudos for retaining her composure and maintaing order throughout all the rass and crap that was thrown out at her during these lengthy proceedings. I was shocked (gasp!) at how disrespectful men like Troy Gabb, Ralph Fonseca, Glenn Godfrey and his mouthpeice Elston Kaseke spoke to her, yet she maintained order. They obviously think they are above it all, above prosecution. She has a memory like a steel trap, nothing escapes her. Amazing woman. My Hero. Sensible. Belize is richer for it. I could see her as Prime Minister.


Art Credit: Popeye, Caye Caulker. If you come to Caye Caulker you will see Popeye's art hanging on fences, and propped up here and there and Coco Loco Cafe. His words of wisdom will cost you anywhere between $5-10. His colors are whatever he can find at the bottoms of old cans of paint. The wood is from scraps he finds at the dump and from construction projects. Bigness keeps him well supplied there. We don't sell his art in the cafe, we collect it. So if you come into the shop and see one of our signs and like it, just find Popeye, an old Rastaman, who's best friend is Dodo, to make it for you.

To Be 4 Years Old Again

Oh to be 4 years old again and wearing party hair. UNBaby is ready for a friends 4th birthday party. The group of preschoolers are going out on a glass bottom boat to see the sharks and rays, and then will be coming back to gorge themselves on pink cake and soda pop.

Smart People Don’t Make the Same Mistake 3 Times

What’s a wasles?

It reminded me of the story my grandmother told me about when she was a little girl growing up in Mississippi, on the river, or next to the river, the Mississippi River, or maybe it was Arkansas. My grandmaw Florence was born around 1910, so the story she told had to happen in the early1920s because by the late 1920s she was married and having babies.

Her mother was a cook for the logging camps that worked up and down the Mississippi river, and her father came and stayed long enough to make her mother pregnant, and went whenever he felt like it. So, the kids were left to fend for themselves. And being that grandma, who’s nickname was Dixie, was one of the older girls, she and her older sister Maud were left to tend to the youngins whilst momma went to work.

I’ll skip the part of the story where they were playing with the shotgun and shot a hole in the mattress, and the part where a big rain came and their tent slid down the riverbank in a mudslide right into the river and I’ll start right at the part where they were crossing the train trestle over the river and the train came, so they had to lay down on the tracks and let the train pass over them. She and her little brothers and sisters.

That was what ran through my head when the Cessna Caravan nearly mowed me down on the airstrip the other day. Git yourself down girl, throw down that bike and hit the durt afore that propeller chops your head off. Do like granmaw said. And I did.

It wasn’t the pilot’s fault though, I tried to smile and give a little wave to reassure the pilot as he nearly had a conniption fit on landing. I think it was a fit, I would hate to think he was aiming for me as he headed straight down the runway.

After Yoga class I decided to take the shortcut down the airstrip, rather than take the coco-jarring bumpity bump beach path, the long way around the southpoint of Caye Caulker to the new Yoga Center that my friend Sally and her husband have built up on stilts with a stunning sunset view. On a sunny breezy afternoon the ride/walk is nice, but after an hour of sweating and rolling round on the floor tied up like a pretzel, I just wanted a shower. The sun was going down and the mozzies were revving up. So I did the right thing, I called Tropic Air on Caye Caulker to ask if they were having any incoming flights from International or San Pedro. They answered, yes, one JUST LEFT from International. O.K. I say to myself, I have 15 minutes, now haul yer azz gial. The runway is a little more than ¼ mile long and about 20 feet wide. So I started biking down the runway, riding West to East, having covered about 100 yards, I barely hear a low buzzing chainsaw kinda noise, because the breeze was blowing the sound back East to West. I look over my right shoulder just in time to see a giant pelican looking thing (painted cream and burgundy) about to plop down on me. And then granmaw told me to hit it, swamp to the left of me, airstrip on the right, dive dive dive. Its accurate to say that their interpretation of JUST LEFT was different than mine. JUST LEFT means within the last 2 minutes to me. JUST LEFT to them must mean when the airplane is about to land on your back, JUST DIVE LEFT.

Whew! Close call. The wingtips flop over the edge of the tarmack left and right by several feet so its not enough to just get off the pavement and into the swamp ditch. Standing up straight, the wingtips would hit me about mid throat. And I wont mention the propeller.

I should have gone back to the airstrip entrance on the west side, if I hadn’t been brain damaged, until the plane had taken off again. But I continued on my merry way, back up on my bike, la di da. What's one brush with death? What I was slow in realizing is that, in airplanes, what comes down must go back up, but first they had to taxi back down the airstrip (over my ducked body) to get to the west end, then rev their engine and get a flying leap to take off into the wind which blows east to west. Three times over and back, each time the pilot (who I’m sure is a very nice person in real life) scowling.

So if you’re a Tropic Air pilot based in San Pedro, the fat lady on the red bike promises she won’t do that again. And I mean it.

Art Credit: Popeye, Caye Caulker.

Photo Friday - March 15 - Heat

Habanero peppers on a handmade raku plate by Belizean artist Phillipe Zetina. Shot in the late afternoon on a grass mat by the back door with my old Sony Mavica about 3 years ago.

Habanero Salsita
Coarsly chop 2 cups of fresh tomato, squeeze in the juice of a large lime or 2 small limes (about 1/4 cup) add about a teaspoon of salt, or salt to taste and black pepper, then pulse in the blender, leaving the tomatoes chunky.
Add to blender 1 cup of coarsly chopped onion and sweet green pepper, 1/2 cup chopped cilantro and 2 seeded diced habanero peppers.
Pulse the blender to mix a little and leave it a little but chunky.
Serve with tortilla chips for duiping

I like to have this salsa over an omelette. You can also add avacado to make it creamy. I've also added sour cream to make a creamy, spicy dip.

Check out more Photo Friday submissions.

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Chef Toni is making carrot cake this morning for the cafe. I'm getting myself awake and stirring around to shake off the cobwebs of last night. Her startled voice juks my brain as she announces that on KREM Radio, the Communications Workers Union has given the BTL phone company until noon to reinstate the workers that were fired last week. After noon, they have not announced what will happen, but we all know... already, the internet is running real slooooooowww. We all know what will happen, they will shut this country down. I'm not mad, I think I'm prepared. The most important thing is to have enough cash on hand, and I believe I've done this.
Well, I better get a move on and finish my emails.
My question is... should I pay my phone bill this morning? Naw, I'll wait and see if we even have a phone company after this is over.
Sayonara my friends!