Photo Friday - April 4 - Far From Home

We did a house swap in Cozumel over Easter with someone I found on house swapping website. It was our first, and a learning experience. My sole purpose in going to Cozumel was to find a purple Volkswagen Beetle and photograph it. I completed my mission. (no... this is not a photo of where we stayed) I have from time to time been trying to get a swap for at least a year now, off and on, checking in checking back, sending inquiries.

First lesson: never assume anything. The place was in general, clean enough and almost O.K. after Bigness fixed the toilet, which is good in itself, because for at least 1/2 hour he wasn't bored. The place was a bit rusty and dusty. I can say for certain, that they got the better of the deal, but who's complaining, it was free accommodations in place that is usually expensive. The best feature was being 1-1/2 blocks from a giant Chedraui, the Mexican version of Walmart.

Second lesson: If I expect our house to be clean when we arrive back, I need to state that in a note to the swapper, what exactly it is that I expect them to do regarding cleaning up after themselves. Change the bed sheets, take your shoes off before entering the house, sweep and mop, clean the bathroom and kitchen, trash taken to the barrell and not left on the verandah, no taking livingroom or bedroom furniture out onto the verandah, no, no, no. Don't assume that they will leave your house in the same clean state that you have left theirs.

Would I do this again with her? Probably yes. I would be more specific in what I expected though. Life, its a learning experience.

A few days before the vacation, I had stepped wrong while carrying trays of brownies down the beach stairs and to the cafe. Don't worry, I saved the brownies. Its not quite clear yet still what the damage is, initially the right knee was swollen up like a watermelon, and I couldn't put any pressure on it at all. The doctor had to come and attend to me at home. We have a public clinic here on Caye Caulker, staffed by a Cuban doctor, who lives at the clinic. The Cuban Health system is superior to anything I've ever experienced. This doctor is trained from early in his career that he is RESPONSIBLE for the health of his community. HE IS RESPONSIBLE... to take care of us. It is ingrained. Its not about making money because they don't have money there, not like we have here. In Cuba they ahve 1 doctor for every 100 people. He thought it was probably tendons, and probably it is, although its making that weird crackling sound when I move it. If I was in aMerica, it would have been a costly trip to the emergency room for sure. Here, if its after dark, its not an emergency unless you've been shot, stabbed or broken your back. If you break your leg after dark, they put you on a boat (and you pay for it) and off to Belize City you go. If you break your back, they will call in the British Military rescue helicopter. They have to allow 4 hours for the chopper. And for any of you that don't know it already, O.J. from Oceanside Bar is our emergency person for Caye Caulker. Nurse Donna from the clinic is 2nd in charge for calling in the rescue chopper. So, next time you're here, be nice to O.J., because he just might be the man to save your life. So, 3 days bedrest was prescribed and some really nice injections. Its just not possible for me to be layed up in bed for so long unless I'm nauseated and can't sit up. While he was making his house call he took Bigness's blood pressure and reminded him about the low cholesteral diet he was supposed to be on. Bigness said "Uh, huh," and then put down his fried pork chop.

So we started the trip out with a little handicap (me) and knee wrapped. I had to hold onto Bigness as I wobbled and hopped on one leg through Mexican immigration. When checking out of Belize they didn't even make me get out of the car. Fortunately for me, there's a lot to hold onto with Bigness, and his grab handles are well placed. The trip to Cozumel was uneventful, we make the trip to Playa Del Carmen, several times a year. It starts with a car ride to Chetumal, Mexico, leaving the car in the mall parking lot under a light, then a taxi to the bus station, then a 4-1/2 hour bus ride to Playa Del Carmen and then a 45 minute water taxi ride to Cozumel. We arrived late in the evening and gave the address to the cab driver because we didn't reallly know where we were going. 10 minutes later we pulled up, and the key was hidden right where she said it would be, and we let ourselves in. It was midnight.

The next day I was curious about the lady. I didn't poke and pry and sniff around, I just looked at the pictures on the wall, the color choices, the decorating and the photos. This is not CSI Miami. I did not have the magnifying glass and tweezers out.

I made some assumptions:

-She was small and short, the doorways were short, the livingroom furniture was small, and Bigness had to duck through to move from room to room. The doorways are always small in Mexico, Bigness informed me, its dem small people. The lower items were dust free, the higher items were dusty (wrong - she was as tall as me)

-She liked TV, for there was a TV in each bedroom and the livingroom (probably right)

-She was in her early 50s and a widow, lots of dusty silk flower arrangements and kitschy fish knick knacks. (wrong - much younger, and not sure of the marital status)

-She has short hair. I have long hair and shed like bigfoot. Hair in my drain, hair on the brush, hair hair hair everywhere, its a problem. I found no hair anywhere. (wrong - she has long hair)

-She likes wine because I saw 4 wine cork screws in the silverware drawer, and she had an empty wine rack in a cupboard (probably correct)

-She liked men (probably right, because she brought a boyfriend to Belize)

-Her favorite color combination is orange and turquoise (probably right as those were the predominant colors)

-She loves tropical fish, there was an encyclopedia of tropical fish on the stand under the TV, hand-painted fish plates on the table, starfish candles, a framed Matisse print on the wall of a glass bowl on a table with fish. The guest towels in the bathroom were decorated with fish. She had ceramic fish hanging on the walls.

She had a few complaints about us, the sink drain in the kitchen ran slow, which is true, for the past 2 weeks. (its fixed now) The water pressure up and down. True again, that's life living on an island with no municipal water supply, we rely on wells and cisterns. We have a 100 gallon gravity feed reservior on the roof and if the demand is high, the water comes slow. Hey, we're lucky we even HAVE water, its the dry season. Its like everything here in Belize, don't get too upset about it, because if you do, its just going to take longer. Everything is a little bit broken, just like the government.

The Before and the After

The day that Adria, Jay and May left for Mexico and then subsequently to the U.S., Malibu MalMal, Jelly Bean and Baby JoJo came. We had planned it that way to minimize trips to Mexico and the airport in Cancun. So, its been a busy summer. Mal, Jelly and JoJo stayed 7 weeks living la vida loca with us on the Cayes and got to experience Caye Caulker, after the vacation feeling wears off.

But back to Adria's family.
I thought I would show you the...

BeforeAnd the After... these photos were taken the day before they left and went back to reality, relaxed and suntanned.

Progresso, Mexico a Day at the Beach

A 15 minute walk and $1.25 U.S. each later we were in a collectivo van seating 15 people on our way from Merida, to the seaside port village of Progresso on our last full day in Mexico.

The van was clean, new, air conditioned and whisked us away, a straight shot down the highway we hurtled. After about 15 minutes I turned my head for a split second and saw a giant sign in the distance that said SEARS. “So there it is.” I pointed out to Bigness, who just grunted hmmfff in acknowledgement. A little bit of fear creeping into the corner of his eyes, he glanced at me sideways, as if I would ask him to ask the driver to let me off RIGHT HERE, so I could shop. But I had already bought my Frida costumes, and happened to be wearing one at the time. “Its O.K.” I said, and he relaxed. So now we know about the second mall, the real mall. Next time.

Things have changed in the 30 years since Bigness had been to Progresso. Back in the day it was a sleepy seaside village of a thousand people with unpaved streets, cheap beer, sandy beaches and turquoise water. The sand, water and cheap beer remains, but what has grown up is a full scale Mexican resort town. The difference between Progresso and Playa Del Carmen is that the white world has not found it. The tourists are all Mexican, and most of them from Merida which sits 35 miles away inland. The whole time I was there I saw one other foreigner besides myself.

We live on a beach, so we are never looking for “beach” but it was interesting anyway… and HOT. We arrived at around 10 a.m. and all of the shady spots were staked out by families with coolers and blankets. We walked and walked and walked down the seaside sidewalk to find shade, and resigned ourselves to sitting at a restaurant on the beach, and ordering ice cold 50 cent Sol beers and eating fresh seafood ceviche. Such torture!

I am a watcher. I just love seeing different people. When I was a kid for cheap entertainment my parents would take us to the airport to watch people. Sounds weird, but it was fun. Maybe that’s what spawned my love for travel (it didn’t have the same effect on my brothers) but I love to people watch, to imagine where they are going, what they are doing.

Mayan and Yucateca ladies are very modest, swimming in shorts and T-Shirts. The only ladies I saw in bathing suits were obviously from other parts of Mexico as they looked different from the dark brown short square locals. You will notice that here in Belize that most of the local Spanish and Kriole women that actually live in Belize (this excludes those who have left and come back only on vacation) are very modest when bathing. No bikinis, T-Shirts and shorts mostly or bathing suits covered up with t-shirts. The local women here on Caye Caulker are dismayed and embarrassed by the foreign flesh pots, often pointing and giggling. Topless sunbathing is not only frowned upon, but heartily discouraged.

So we finished out last day in Mexico at the beach and headed back to Meirda and then to Belize the next day. 5 days away from home seemed like a month. I came back really refreshed with lots of new ideas for jewelry design. All in all it was a great break. Merida was lovely.

More Merida

A wandering musician came up to our table as we were enjoying highly caffeinated drinks in the morning and sang a song for us. Look at how little the people are here. Bigness is sitting down and is almost as tall as he is. I caught about 1-in-10 words, but Bigness caught them all. They were something like, you’re wife is juicy, she gives you lots of … something or another, she makes you happy, you like to squeeze her… juiciness

Bigness: haw haw haw
Me: what’s he saying?
Bigness: haw haw haw haw, … nothing
Me: no, really what’s he saying?
Bigness: ssshhhhh!
Me: …
Bigness: nothing gial, just a lotta rass. He thinks you’re juicy that’s all.
Me: … I guess they like big ting here too.

The Shopping Trip
(note: none of the photos are of the mall, which is glass and shiny and chrome and looks like every other mall in America, uninteresting)

We decided to go shopping on Saturday. Most of the stores in Merida were closed on Good Friday, but everything opened back up on Saturday. So, we took a long walk in the afternoon, and then a cab to the mall. I had been looking forward to the trip-to-the mall, since it has been nearly two years since I had been shopping for myself. 2 years? With the occasional cast off from Supergirl, I’ve been surviving on my last shopping trip the Thestates from May of 2005. Yes, its true, the elastic on almost everything I own is nearly crumpled up and sprung, and yes I did get that care package of unmentionables mixed in with Bigness’s clothing shipment from my mom. Thank goodness the wardrobes are simple here on Caye Caulker, they consist of bathing suits, a piece of fabric wrapped around your arse and fringe on the bottom of everything. What is considered island fabulous here on Caye Caulker is the subject of open-mouth stares everywhere else. The mall was o.k. It had gotten such rave reviews from friends and family that I expected circus performers hanging from the ceiling. It was basically the same stores that we have in Chetumal, the Liverpool Store with polyester fashions for old ladies, small old ladies. The Chedraui which is like the Target or Walmart of Mexico. We were looking for the fabled JC Penney and Sears that legend had it existed in Merida. We never did find the JC Penney, it appeared on the map at the mall, but round and round we went through the maze of corridors with a layout shaped like a curvy capital H. All we found was a store called “Dorians” where the JC Penney used to be. We (meaning HE) asked and asked mall workers, Where is the JC Penney? Donde esta JC Penney? They would point in this direction or that, as puzzled as we were. We (meaning I) surmised that it was an old map after wandering around aimlessly and frustrated to the point that I needed an ice cream cone to cool my brains. Well if they don’t have the JC Penney and Sears doesn’t even appear on the mall map, where’s the fat ladies’ store? Legend had it that there was a supersize mujer store in Merida, and what better place for it? Round and round we go again, this time looking for the Gordita Mujer Camisa Tienda. For a quick translation of those Spanish words check out www.babelfish.altavista.com
Couldn’t Bigness ask someone where it was? No, (that would make too much sense) and it would involve speaking SPANISH, to a stranger, and we didn’t have much luck finding the JC Penney did we?
So I decided to BRING IT ON, but first I had to practice the words and torture Bigness.

Me: there’s a fat lady (I point with my lips because pointing with my finger is rude)
Bigness: … (looks over there) Me: Ask her
Bigness: ask her what
Me: ask her where she buys her clothes
Bigness: What? You want me to ask her?
Me: well, I’ll do it then.
Me: Help me practice the words.. Discuple, por favor, donde esta tienda para gordita mujer? (notice how when I concentrate I can almost EXPLODE with spanish words)
Me: is that how I say it?
Bigness: gial
Me: whaaaaaaaaaaat
Bigness: you can’t ask a lady where she buys her fat clothes
Me: why not?
Bigness: you can’t say the word gordita, she’ll think you’re calling her fat
Me: she IS fat, and she has to buy her clothes somewhere
Bigness: Gial, noh mek I do dis ting (and he began to seriously crunch down on his ice cream cone)
I’ve noticed when Bigness doesn’t want to do something he all of the sudden loses his ability to speak Spanish, even though its his first language. Remember the incident when I was trying to buy the hormone cream?
Me: well how should I say it?
Bigness: gial, less go
And off we went, the trip to the mall over, no fat girl’s clothes store to be found, no JC Penney, no Sears.

So, the mall was a big letdown, and that night I was relegated to shopping at the marketplace in the city center. My clothes now are not so much clothes now as they are costumes from the movie “Frida” making me look like the proper Spanish wife. That and my new “Sexy Spanish Teacher” glasses with rhinestones on the sides complete the look. Some of the new clothing pieces I will wear in public, some resemble a Mexican lace tablecloth too much and are best worn only at home.

We found Sears the next day, but that’s another story (and a different mall)

Merida Was Lovely

We left Caye Caulker on the Wednesday before Easter and I had hoped to rest up that evening before setting out for Chetumal early the next day. Not so, Bigness, my hyper spastoid husband, wanted to get on the road and even promised that I could shut my eyes and sleep in the car on the way. (gee thanks) So we set off right away for Chet, not stopping anywhere and arrived just before sunset. A 3 hour drive for most, 2 hours when Bigness is at the wheel. We went straight to the Mall of America for our MacDonald’s Big Mac and fries. Belize is probably the only country with no fast food chains, with the exception of one Subway Sub Shop in Belize City.

After nourishing our Big Mac Attack we went straight to Chedraui to the ADO Bis ticket kiosk only to find that all busses to Merida, Mexico were already booked up until 11:30 the next day. So, that meant spending the night in Chetumal. We wasted as much time as we could at the mall before retiring to the little hole-in-the-wall motel we stay at near the Nuevo Mercado. Sometime that night something started biting me, and bit me all around the base of my spine, on my shoulder and on my hands. I woke up feeling yucky, thinking that my caffeine levels were just low. Luckily I had anticipated the coffee low and had brought a thermos of espresso dark brew from home the day before. It helped some, but what was happening was a histamine reaction to whatever was crawling all over me biting my rass all night. They left Bigness alone, the bugs are not crazy, they like sweet white meat. So, we got on the bus at the appointed time and headed off in first class air conditioned comfort on a 5 hour drive to Merida.

According to Yucatecan history, Merida, Mexico was founded by the Spaniard Francisco Montejo in 1542. When the Spaniards arrived, Merida was a large Mayan city known as T’ho. After conquering (read slaughtering) the Mayans, the Spaniards dismantled all the pyramids and used the huge stones as the foundation for the Cathedral of San Idelfonso (1561-1599) the oldest cathedral on the American Continent. You would never know of the bloody history of the Yucatan in its people today, as it is a peaceful and tranquil, safe state.

We arrived just before sunset to the bus terminal in Merida. The best thing about arriving was the Tourist Information booth with an English speaking guide. Yay! The guide gave us a book called Yucatan Today, which has an online edition, in case you want to check it out http://www.yucatantoday.com/ with maps and gave us information on several hotels in our price range. We set out on a hotel hunt and found a room available for 1 night at the second place. So we checked in, showered and set off to find dinner as it had been more than 5 hours since our last meal and you know how Bigness goes when his blood sugar gets low, he just might faint from hunger, and he’s too big to be scraping up off the pavement. We had a fantastic Yucateca style mixed grill meal at this place La Belle Epoca. Yucateca food is not too spicy flavored with achiote. Typical Yucatecan food is -

Lime Soup: a chicken broth made with shredded chicken, bits of fried tortilla and lime juice.

Motul Style Eggs: a tortilla covered with refried beans and a fried egg covered in a tomato sauce, peas, chopped ham and shredded cheese.

Chicken or Pork Pibil. This is a Mayan specialty they also serve in Belize. It is chicken or pork marinated in achiote (annatto spice) sour orange juice, peppercorns, garlic, cumin, salt and then wrapped in banana leaves and baked in a pit dug into the ground.

Panuchos and Salbutes: a thick fried corn tortilla topped with shredded chickengarnished with lettuce, tomato and onion. The difference between Panuchos and Salbute is that panuchos have refried beans inside the tortilla.

Poc Chuc: tender slices of pork marinated in sour orange juice then grilled and served with a tangy tomato sauce and pickled onions.

Frijol con Puerco: the Yucatecan version of pork and beans. Chunks of pork cooked with black beans served with rice and garnished with cilantro, radish and onion.

After dinner we walked around the central park area and then retired for the evening.

The next morning consisted of the hunt for coffee to feed my addiction. Honestly, I feel like a heroin addict sometimes. We were instantly rewarded with double cappuccinos at Café Havanna just 2 blocks away from our hotel and towards the central park. After breakfast we set out to find another hotel as it was Easter weekend and many places were completely full. We found another hotel a block away from our last place for $30 U.S. a night with private bath, hot and cold water, air conditioning, cable TV, and clean clean clean and secure with only 1 entrance/exit and set up like a compound.

I am content to be watching, and not doing, an observer, and not a participant. Bigness on the other hand still suffers from overly mobile joints... more on this travelog later.

Supergirl and UNBaby’s vacation was to San Ignacio and then to Roaring Creek in Belize. When I arrived back on Caye Caulker UNBaby informed me that Jesus is alive again and lives in the belly of the Easter Bunny Basket that she and mommy made out of a one gallon bleach bottle, cotton balls and glue and felt. Also that God can see everything all the time except when you’re in the bathroom he can’t see you go pee.