Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Don't Let the Door Hit You On Your Way Out

“Psst.. Miss Miss, how much for a coffee?”

I look around for where the sound is coming from and see the sweet Kriole police officer standing at the vent window next to the café kitchen. The window faces the police yard and is a direct shot into their duty office.

“2 bzd ($1 U.S.) for a small and 3 bzd ($1.50 U.S.) for a large” I answer.
“Its not for me its for my prisoners” he declares.
I look past him and see the backs of two dyed blonde heads in the window.

Bigness’s building occupies most of his beach lot, so when I go to work I pass through the police yard from the beach to the street entrance. This morning I saw two women on “The Bench” but I didn’t notice, or care who it was, I just needed to get that coffee brewing before people were beating the door down. I try not to see who’s in trouble, the knowledge weighs too much on my mind and I’m not going to bail anyone out of jail for what is usually stupidity. When women are arrested they aren’t put into a cell, they have to sit on the bench under the watchful eye of the duty officer until they decide what to do with you. Its like sitting in the principal’s office, everyone knows you’re in trouble. You should be so lucky in the U.S., to be treated so well.

Two mash up ole white ladies got themselves in trouble.
Don’t ask.
Don’t tell.
Cuz you on fakation and don’t nobody know you down here.

But I can speculate.
Smoking weed on the beach?
Shoplifting?
Fighting with another woman?
Those are about the only 3 reasons a woman would get arrested here. Chasing your man down the street with a stick will only get peels of laughter and shouts of encouragement from the copra.

Decisions, decisions, what to do with 2 mash up ole white leedies who won’t behave.

The sweet Kriole officer reached out and gave me a $5 bill as I passed the 2 coffees through the vent to him. “Tanks Miss Leedy” One small with sugar only and the large with milk and sugar please.

Welcome to our new walk up window.

The two grannies were later seen being “escorted” by a police officer to the water taxi.
Automatic $1000 fine and deportation.
Passport stamped OTL (Ordered To Leave) and shoved back over the border into Mexico.

Welcome to Paradise and please behave.

Update: Middle Child Syndrome and Baby Girl arrived safe and sound. Only one little bump in the road. (next post)

7 comments:

admsgrl said...

I guess my Kriol isn't very good...what is "ole mashed up" mean? I have a mental picture of someone who looks like a bag lady...is this right?

Guyana-Gyal said...

You are right, admsgrl. Mash up...like mashed, worn.

Um, Caribbean, whisper whisper...what were they up to?

Caribbean Colors said...

Admsgrl - mashed up ladies are old wrinkly bags that think they are still young and fresh.
GG- I have NOOOOOOO idea, I'm just mindin my own bidnezz. BTW GG, I've read all the blogs in the competition and I think yours and mine are the best. The rest are for the most part a rehashing of the news.

Lost said...

"Chasing your man down the street with a stick will only get peels of laughter and shouts of encouragement from the copra"

hehehehe I love that line.

Guyana-Gyal said...

I agree Caribbean, I had a look. Rehash, rehash.

Me 'n' you, we capture life, we show the colours, the madness and the sadness, the humour and the joy!

Caribbean Colors said...

GG- I have the real deal info now. The two ole ladies were walking down the street, drunk as skunks and smoking spliffs, and as they passed the police station... and now you know the rest of the story.

ghostdavey said...

Glad the family is there safe and sound.