Cousin Alvi was out on Caye Caulker the other day complaining that I hadn’t updated my blog in so long he thought I was still in the U.S. When he rode by on the golf cart he thought he saw a ghost. He also chastised me for watering it down, as you all know I’ve let up on the hard copy gossip because Bigness was getting phone calls and complaints from people with no sense of humor at all. I take certain creative liberties in my stories, some of my characters are composites. This is my opinion and you can choose to agree or disagree with me, no one forces you to read this blog. Most of the people reading this blog do so for entertainment purposes only and do not take it as a CNN broadcast of current events on Caye Caulker. If you have close ties to Caye Caulker you may or may not be able to tell who I am writing about, and if you think I’m writing about you, then stop your bad behavior and I’ll stop writing about it.
More Fan Mail
Bigness wondered why Cousin Rage would turn his face away from him when he passed on the beach and thought that he’s becoming a “Sometimes Crazy” person as opposed to being a “My Friend Sometimes” person.
I hadn’t told him about the email I had received until then, because (Life is short) and I didn’t want to get his panties in a twist over something so juvenile and jr. high school behavior is not on my list of things to do these days.
But since he brought it up… what a perfect time to bring things to light and as we all know, timing is everything.
Cousin Rage informs me via email that he wants me to stop blogging about him, that I have my facts wrong and no one in the ENTIRE Alamina family likes me. And that he speaks for everyone and that not a one of them thinks I’m fit to carry the name.
Bigness laughed and laughed at this. (Now is the time for my daughters to close their eyes and ignore the next sentence) Then gave me a big smack on my behind for being a very very very naughty girl and we danced naked around the room to tango music. (O.K. daughters you can open your eyes now)
I didn’t reply to the email as I didn’t want to dignify the ranting with an answer. I also know the golden rule of the internet… “Don’t put anything into an email that you don’t want one million people to read” So, stop giving me your bad behavior to write about and I’ll stop writing about it.
Typical bad mindedness comes from jealousness of other’s accomplishments. Cousin Rage likes to complain to the village council about other people's tables on the beach saying they are infringing on Queensland, but neglects to let them know that he built his building 15 feet into Queensland, stealing beach intentionally. Should I tell them? Naw, its none of my business and my rule of thumb is don’t bother me with your sillyness and I won’t bother you. I try to not pay him any mind at all, after all there are starving American Tourists in Belize dying for a good cup of coffee and I am the only one who can save them.
What Cousin Rage fails to recognize is that any stories that I’m telling that happened prior to 2000, I’m just repeating like a parrot as it came straight from Bigness’s mouth to my ear. He’s objecting to revisionist history. But of course he would never dare to approach Bigness to his face as he’s a coward.
BTW, Cousin Rage, since I know you stalk me and read my blog (obviously), I’ve done a family poll and with the exception of one person who doesn’t even live in Belize, everyone else is on my side. So there.