Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Whys and the Wherefores

Where is Bigness and why aren't we hearing about him? The emails kept coming as I slowly wrote him out of the story. The old Creole saying, "Slowly, slowly you take your hand out of the tiger's mouth." His attitude went from, DENY DENY DENY, until he could deny no more, to I love you, I'm sorry I HAVE A PROBLEM to SO WHAT. When it reached SO WHAT I knew the relationship couldn't be saved. The divorce has been final since August. It was embarrassing and I was in no mood to talk about it, even to my parents. I finally called my Dad and told him what had gone down, and he said what I needed to hear, "We would never expect you to stay in a situation like that." Bigness has moved on and on and on and 2011 IS THE YEAR I GOT MY LIFE BACK.

Sade can say it so much better than I can.


Lyrics to Sade's Every Word

I saw a picture
How could you be so careless
How could you have done that to us
And I write this letter
I send it all back to you
And every word you said

In there every word, oh oh oh oh
How could you have done that to us

You treated me like a stranger
And all the time I was loving you
All your slick moves
They were once innocent moves
I wanted to look up to you
I really trusted you
And every word you said

In there every word, oh oh oh oh
How could you have done that to us

(Love is what the word was)

I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said

I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it all back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

5 comments:

kathycarp said...

I hear you. Every single bit of it. Here's to new beginnings, and learned lessons. Onward.
Hugs,
Kathy

neena maiya (guyana gyal) said...

I'd sensed all this, the break-up, the embarrassment, that you didn't want to say anything.

My mother once told me that when one door closes, another opens. That something / someone better is coming.

Here's to better days, a wonderful life filled with happiness and truly good, caring people.

Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Very sorry. Hard to express my feelings on this. Sade has said it better, than I could express it, for the last 30 years.

Rob Hunter and The Grateful; Dead have givewn an affirmation to those who mare having tough time: "Walk into splintered sunlight Inch your way through dead dreams to another land
Maybe you're tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted
with words half spoken
and thoughts unclear.
What do you want me to do
to do for you to see you through?
A box of rain will ease the pain
and love will see you through".

These are words that have sustained me through hard times. Hoipefully, for you as well.

ruthibel said...

here's to renewed life.

Hayden said...

the first steps are the hardest. you are strong and you proved it by setting your boundaries. I'm sorry it came to this - but - 2011 is now YOUR year!!!