Saturday, January 19, 2008

Weather Report

I think Nelly said it best:

Hot in.....So hot in heerre.....So hot in.....
Oh Wan' a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.

Its gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes (eh)
(Background voice: uh uh uh uh uh) I am gettin to hot, I wanna take my clothes off(repeat)

I ask myself this question: if you're wondering... this is Lee and not more lyrics to the Nelly song.

I ask myself this question: is it hot in here or is it a hot flash?

Its hot in here.

The tourists are loving it, no rain for days....

I'm photographing a wedding tomorrow and no chance of rain.

What's a Girl to do?

An evening out visiting with the ladies in Belmopan. We enjoyed a medium size bottle of rum split between 6 girls, just enough liquor to loosen the tongues. The men went outside to talk about whatever it is men talk about. Cars, motorcycles, engines, beer and pretty gials. They enjoyed a GALLON of rum split between 4.

The ladies however, got right down to business, we talked about our men and how we punish them, err, I mean torture. Well, not really torture, that’s such a negative word with far reaching complications. What I mean is, we each answered the universal question: “How do YOU get your man to mind?”

Many of the ladies I had just met, so I kept quiet while I developed the gut ache you only get from laughing and laughing. Tales of hidden shoes - only the left, hidden wallets, hidden teeth, hidden keys, locking them out, locking them in.

I silently reviewed my choices and realized that none of those techniques would have any effect on Bigness. You see, I am married to a man who doesn’t care what you think about him. If I hid his shoes, he would walk barefoot. If I hid his teeth he would go out gums all aflapping. If I hid the keys there is always the bus, or here on Caye Caulker, no one needs a car anyway. If I hid his wallet, there’s the Sports Bar right downstairs, and a open tab for the landlord. If I locked him out, he would just shake the house until I let him in. If I locked him in, you would see a remake of the Incredible Hulk bursting through a wall, complete with sound effects. After all, he’s a builder and can fix it tomorrow.

So what’s a girl to do? I discovered this quite accidently. CARB OVERLOAD. Pasta, rice, bread, pizza, keeps him sleepy… all the time and out of trouble. Rich desserts. He thinks I'm being a good wife AS HIS EYES ROLL TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND HE SETTLES IN FOR A 2 HOUR SIESTA, shhhh, don't tell him. PROMISE ME YOU WON'T TELL HIM, pinky swear it. I’ve also found that a slight case of food poisoning keeps him at home, but that’s not so fun for me. Ooooooffffff!

One thing I noticed is that none of the ladies used SEX to keep their man home, or at least they weren’t talking about it.

So ladies, here’s a question… how do you keep your man at home? DISCUSS.

And men, if you have any good ideas, SHARE.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Miss Manners Says....

...don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Miss Lee says... timing is everything and with the general election less than 1 month away...
well, you've got my vote if you can get clean water to Caye Caulker, that is, if I could vote.

Government of Belize Press Release:

Government and BWSL Sign Agreement to Construct a New Water System in Caye CaulkerBelmopan - 08 January, 2008Prime Minister of Belize and Minister of National Development, Rt. Hon. Said Musa, and Chairman of the Board of Directors for Belize Water Services Ltd. (BWSL), Mr. Norris Hall, today signed an agreement to install a new water system in the village of Caye Caulker. Under the agreement, Government will provide $ 1.75 million while BWSL will provide $ 608,000 to fund the new system which is estimated to cost $ 2.3 million. The scope of the project includes the purchase and installation of a 500 cubic meter reverse osmosis plant, the construction of a 100,000 gallons ferro concrete storage tank, 7.5 miles of PVC distribution and main lines, 500 service connections with meters, two sea water supply wells and one brine disposal well, along with the power supply, standby generator, pumps, controls and other accessories. The project will also fund the supply and installation of an underwater crossing to ensure that water is accessible to the north side of the island. Apart from designing and contributing financially to the system, BWSL will implement the field work, and manage the Caye Caulker water system when it is completed. Over 1500 residents and the numerous tourists who visit Caye Caulker will benefit from this project which will ensure that the village has reliable access to potable water. The new reverse osmosis system will replace the existing system that provides water from a shallow well, but which can only be used for washing and bathing due to contamination of the ground water well that is currently used. The provision of potable water to Caye Caulker is evidence of Government’s support for the continued development of the tourism industry as Caye Caulker is a growing destination for tourists. This decision is also in line with Government’s National Poverty Elimination Strategy and Action Plan 2007–2011 which aims to increase the percentage of Belizeans with access to piped and potable water from 89 % at present to 100 % by 2015. Work is expected to begin immediately with the ordering of the reverse osmosis plant, and the whole system will be completed within 15 months. Additional information about the Caye Caulker Water Project can be obtained from the Ministry of National Development at 822-2526/2527 or from BWSL at 202-0128/0376.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

No One Ever Expects The Spanish Inquisition

The call came in at 7:15 a.m.

You know for yourself when the phone rings late or early, its never good news.

Policeman: Mr. Bigness needs to get to your property on the mainland right away, there's been a break in.

Bigness missed the 7:30 boat by minutes and had to wait until 8:30 a.m. to get off Caye Caulker.

It takes me about 3 times through to get the story straight, so here's the straightened version.

So, let's back up 3 weeks. Just before Christmas, the house was robbed while Bigness was taking a siesta midday. I was on Caye Caulker and got a weird feeling so I called him, woke him up, and what we didn't know at that moment was that someone was in the house. They had gotten up to the room just before the bedroom that Bigness was sleeping in. The call scared them off, as it roused him from a deep carb induced sleep. They went with what they could carry quickly, a blender which worked on only 1 speed, a pair of "fake" diamond earrings, the weed whacker, a dvd player but not the remote or the cables, a saw and a drill. But they got a good look at the collection of electronics that Bigness has collected over the years. Nice TV (we only get 1 local station... sometimes), nice stereo, nice nice things. The house is like a fortress, we have burglar bars on all the windows, strong burglar bar screen doors and steel inner doors. Bigness had fallen asleep with the lock flipped on the burglar bar door, but didn't have the deadbolt lock on, and the steel door was open. Its broad daylight. Who would bother you in broad daylight?

Mistake #1 The crime wasn't reported to the police.

On a closer inspection we could see where someone had attempted to unscrew the burglar bars on one of the bedroom windows, near a large leafy bush they were using for cover. So, Bigness chopped down all the bushes near the house and installed two additional exterior lights.

Fast forward to December 28, the call came in at 7:15 a.m. The policeman was calling from our front verandah, guarding the house so that it wouldn't be looted in his absence. A few minutes before a neighbor heard a ruckus, saw what was happening. There are only 2 policemen to guard an area with at least 350 homes over a several sqare mile area. He had to come on foot because they have no cars to patrol. He came with his gun, just in time to get a good description of the car that was driving away. The smart man that he is, called the police stations in either direction (east and west) and reported the theft, and description of the car. There is only 1 main road between Belize City and San Ignacio. The theives headed toward Belize City and 15 minutes later were caught in Hattieville at a road block. Bigness makes a quick call to family in Belmopan who rush the 20 miles over to the house to relieve the policeman. Its frustrating to be stuck on an island.

By the time Bigness got off the island and to the mainland, they had caught the 3 little career criminals. He paid a visit to them at the Hattieville police station, not one of which was over the age of 20.

All that was left was to clean up the mess. The robbers had taken a big chain, hooked it through the burglar bar door at one end, and hooked it to the bumper of their car and pulled the massive door off, then pryed the metal door open with a crow bar.

They left me a gift in the front yard. The 3 spare tires they had been carrying in their trunk.
Maybe I'll make hillbilly planters out of them. Remember the thing about making lemonaid out of lemons...

He called me later to give me the rundown on damage... and exclaimed that those suckers (read it with an F) had srayed big gobs of paint on the ceiling of my studio... and I sheepishly had to explain that I did that the last time I was working... some paint got stuck in a squeeze bottle and you can guess the rest... splat.

Interesting factoid: NO ART WAS STOLEN.

The arraignment was on Monday, Dec 31, where they plead NOT GUILTY, so the trial is set for some time in February or March. The robbers were immediately remanded to Hattieville Prison with no bail.

I'll keep you posted.

Monday, January 07, 2008

What the Heck?

People, you better make up your minds fast because the Prime Minister of Belize, Said Musa has just announced this morning that the general election is set for Feb 7.

Read the press release below
Prime Minister Musa sets General Election Date
Belmopan - 07 January, 2008
The Prime Minister, Rt. Hon. Said Musa and members of his Cabinet met this morning at the Princess Hotel and Casino with members of the clergy for a breakfast meeting.During the meeting, which was attended by a majority of Belize’s clergy, the Prime Minister announced that he will advise the Governor-General to dissolve the National Assembly today and set Thursday, February 7th as Election Day.The Prime Minister also announced that on that same day, Belizean voters will participate in a referendum which will be on a separate ballot on the question whether Belize should have an elected senate.The Prime Minister said that he was honoured that the clergy had come out in support and he asked them to pray for peace during the campaign period.