Stop Your Whinning You Big Baby

We were in the bush for about a week, and that explains the pause in conversation here. I’ve decided to act like a grown up. I have a show coming up in November and I’m actually painting for it now, rather than starting it 2 weeks before I’m supposed to open. I’m bypassing all the screaming and crying and throwing things and hysterical fits and am dealing with it like an adult, a mature adult, an adult who plans things in advance so that her life isn’t a big drama. (I know my children who are reading this are thinking that aliens have taken over my body and are wondering where they have put their mother.)

Bigness and I came back for the storm that looked like it was headed our way, but in a matter of hours it has veered off north and is no longer a threat to Belize, or to us here on Caye Caulker sticking way out in the ocean. Good news for us, not so good for Jamaica, Haiti and Florida though. We came back because it looked like we might be in the path or at the edge and we didn’t want to make Supergirl deal with boarding up on her own. She’s been down that road with me before with hurricane Iris, Chantal and Michelle in 2001 and although she knows what she’s doing when it comes to storms, it’s a LOT of work getting ready. We were living in San Pedro then, in a strong concrete building, but still on the beach, first floor. We’ve packed the store and cafe in a backbreaking 5 hours. We don’t want to do that though, not unless we absolutely have to because unpacking takes about 2 days.

I really need a proper office, we've already decided that, not a corner of the bedroom, in the aisle way, a direct eyeshot from the verandah door through to Supergirl’s room. Bigness keeps talking about converting the verandah room into an office for me, but I keep resisting. He keeps wanting to make up construction projects and spends hours drawing plans and writing material lists. I love the verandah with its totally manual washing machine, the clothes lines sporting dripping undies and wet towels like curtains, the big hammock for laying down in, the swing hammock for swirling around and making yourself seasick, and the kitchen table on wheels, which makes for an interesting whoopee whoosh splat time when you forget that some of the furniture is anchored on the equivalent of roller skates. I love the fact that the top half of the room doesn’t have windows, but is open air with plastic lattice. UN Baby climbs it like she’s monkey in a cage clinging to it with her death grip little digits, she never falls down or slips. Its amazing. One of these days I’m going to see her clinging to the ceiling by suction cup fingers chasing lizards.

So while I’m here on Caye Caulker I might as well do something useful with my time. I’m making the street banner template for the Caye Caulker Cool Art & Tastefest coming up soon. The TV is blasting in incomprehensible Spanish and I can’t think. I’m also working on a legal paper for Bigness, yet he’s the problem, laying there with the remote in his hand. The Spanish isn’t really incomprehensible, it just is to me. I don’t interfere too much though with his addiction to Caso Cerrado, Spanish Court TV from Miami and Laura, the Spanish version of Jerry Springer which comes from Peru. I like Laura a little bit though, with the sound off. They always let the emotionally wounded woman knock the crap out of the offending man for a few seconds while the bouncers who are supposed to be protecting him actually hold him down. I find it distracting though when I’m working on “important stuff” to be sneaking peeks of women brawling over their husband’s and sweethearts, and hunks of hair being ripped out by the roots. Although, through the 100 decibel Spanish language immersion, I’m learning more words, just not ones I would probably ever use in a real conversation.

On Caye Caulker, even though we are 20 miles from the mainland, we get about 45 channels on cable TV. We’re not going to ask the question, is it legal or pirated. Don’t ask, don’t tell. But for about $10 U.S. a month we get the weather channel, TBS, BBC, CNN, MTV, HBO, Showtime, TMC, even TNN. When we’re on the mainland we also have a TV, a new addition to our little house in the bush. Although there’s no cable TV or land line phones in our area, we get one fuzzy station broadcast from Belize City 30 miles away. It’s a mish mosh of local news and pirated cable programs. Thank GOD the reception is so miserable we only try to watch anything the local news at 6:30 p.m.

Earlier today…

Me: Are you deaf?

Bigness: Probably

Me: Can you turn the darn (you know what I really said) TV down I’m trying to concentrate here? What are you sticking in your ear?

He pulls a grey stick out of his ear

Me: That’s my charcoal grey eyeliner

Bigness: Oh

Me: Use something else

He picks up a key

Me: No, like a q-tip

Me: Yes, we have q-tips that you can use rather than impaling your eardrum on a key. (I'm always the Mom - so be careful or you'll poke your eye out)

Bigness: Welllllll. . . . . get it then.

Me: Do I have to do everythign around here?

Bigness: It looks so

Supergirl likes it when we’re not here, and can't wait for us to go, so she's being VERY helpful to make sure we can get out of here and off her turf, and no one “reminding” her to do anything. When does it stop being reminding and start being nagging?