17 paintings and 32 ceramic tiles later... I've come out of the bush, shaved my legs, brushed my hair (attractive!) and am facing this ...
Friggin Computer! (Note to self: its really really bad to pick up and shake your computer. It no likey) I think there's mold growing on the insides of this old tin can I call a puter, from the recent deluge of sky juice that has been appearting almost every day since the beginning of June.
You know, a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.
When I came back to the Caye, the computer wouldn't work AT ALL, then I found the phillips head screwdriver. The gold plated one that Bigness keeps hidden in his secret man spot, so I won't use it as a hammer. I decided... how hard can this be? After all, its not rocket science, or, its not rocket science anymore. I thought, I'll just get the alcohol out and clean all this dust and crap and rust off, and maybe I can kick start this tin can I call a puter.
I learned some things.
1.) Its very important to unplug the black cord from the power supply before sticking your hand into any electric device
2.) You must put the parts back in EXACTLY like they came out
3.) 3 beeps means the ram is in backwards
4.) If you shake it, you WILL break it
5.) Puters don't like it when you bleed on them, they act like it is water and in puter land, water is the same as swimming in a HELL FIRE LAKE
6.) It doesn't matter how many times you call your computer a stupid mutherfoker, it doesn't listen
I am using Windows XP, I have no reason why, the last time it went in for service, that's what it came back with.
YO HOLLA BACK AT ME...
If anyone can tell me why my mouse will not drag and drop... please please please
If anyone can tell me what a checksum error is... please please please
If anyone can tell me why I can't do anything like I did before, please please please
If anyone can tell me why my printer is not printing, although it shows up in the que, says it is ready, but the files never find their way to the print monitor... please please please
If anyone can tell me why when I click on links, they do not appear... please please please
If anyone can tell my why my Windows print wizard isnt working... please please please
If anyone can tell me how to get a FREE Windows Registry software that actually works after the "Free Scan" which is just a trick to get you to buy the product.
If anyone can tell me why when I click on the "add image" button in blogger, it jus ignores me and acts like a snob and won't do what I want it to do.
Bigness: you haven't fixed that thing yet?
Me: I'm not a rocket scientist
Bigness: is that smoke I smell?
Me: are you burning the breadfruit again?
Bigness: oh fok (runs out of the room to put out the flames of passion burning up the stove)
United Nations Baby: Grandma... Grandpa is smoking the house again.
Me: one of these days... this house...
Bigness: (wiping sweat) Gial, Momma's coming and I got a nice baracuda head.
Me: you are going to make my mom suck fish brains and eyeballs? Ugh!
Bigness: no, just the head meat, I save the brains and eyeballs for me.
So I go into the kitchen and turn the fan on to clear the smoke and see the biggest (and ugliest) baracuda head sitting on the kitchen table. I want to get the measuring tape out, this thing has to be at least 18 inches.
Me: what are you going to do with this thing, she's not going to be here for 3 weeks?
Bigness: Fish Head Stew
BIGNESS'S FISH HEAD STEW
Ingredients, in no special order:
8 cups Chicken bullion or chicken stock, we use Maggi mix here, its an extremely salty instant powder chicken noddle soup that comes in a package 2 fa dollah
4 cups of potatoes chopped into big chunks
2 cups of carrots in big chunks
1 big onion chopped
a couple peices of garlic chopped
large green sweet pepper chopped into big chunks
a handful of fresh cilantro chopped
2 habanero peppers, do not peirce or poke den tings
some black pepper
some season salt, but not too much or it will get too salty
Any other vegetables: coco, chocho, young punkin, yellow squash, butternut squash, all chopped into big chunks
One big ole fish head, fish tail, any other spare fish parts like the spine and bones.
Put everything in a big pot and bile an bile an bile and bile until it looks finished, and then when its done you let it cool a little bit. Break the head apart into chunks, bones and all and ladel soup into bowls. Don't be afraid of serving the bones. Picking them out of the bowl is half the fun. Important: do not let the habanero pepper burst, if you do, its fire in the hole time. Remove the pepper before serving, when its real soft, but not burst. NOH BUST DE PEPPA! You hear me? NOOOOOOOHHHH BUUUUSSSSSS DE PEPPA!
This spicy thick fish stew is best served with cold orange koolaide.