Chicken with a Chain Saw

The rains have come, we're officially in hurricane season. The fires have stopped and I see as we drive down the Western Highway, the burned patches are turing green again. Every morning there are big fat juicy bugs clinging to the door screen, attracted to the porch light. The bird swoop down every few minutes and pick them off. I use the word bug, like I'm describing an insect of normal proportions, these, I assure you are NOT.

Last Sunday was Bigness's birthday. He didn't want a fuss, so he said. I said, well, we're not doing what we did last year and that's bruk out with wan paaateee to the tune of $1000 Belize dollars in beer and likker drunk, yu keyrazee mon? The party started and about midnight when all good girls and boys should have been home, it just got into swing. I went to bed and when I woke up at 6 a.m. the next day, the same ugly old fellers were still sitting in the verandah singing karoke like Elvis had not left the building.

So this year we took a drive to the Community Baboon Sanctuay, to see if the Bigness's cousin, Chicken was home, and to see the mooooonkeys. Chicken doesn't live exactly in the Baboon Sanctuary, he lives right before the sanctuary alongside the road in a little house between the village of Burrell Boom and the village of Scotland Half Moon. Chicken is an all around kinda guy. He can do construction, electrical, plumbing, cement work, fix your car, change a tire, and most important of all, he has a shanesaw. I admire a man with a shanesaw. So after birthday greetings and lots of fast kriole, of which I could understand about 1 word in 5, Chicken got into the car and we went to look at property. I'm not too sure about this property, its a left turn here and a right turn a there and own this path and lots of talk about bulldosers and shanesaws and machettes and black dirt and monkeys. Suffice to say, I think Bigness owns sone property there and maybe wants to put in a road? Put in a road? PUT IN A ROAD???? Why is it when he says it, it sounds so simple and do-able.
Me: "Put in a road?"
Bigness: But babes, don't you like it way out here in the jungle, not like the bush where we live, but the real jungle? You know there's too many people around and you mentioned that when the wind blows from the south how you can hear truckes sometimes from the junction. And what about the soldiers walking past the edge of the property, doesn't that bother you?
Me: are we moving house?
Bigness: don't you want to?
Me: this is because I put the kybosh on more building at Caye Caulker for a year.
Bigness: . . . but Chicken has a chain saw. . .
Me: I'll think about it. (yeah, right!)

The real problem is that there are no more building projects on Caye Caulker until after March 2007, and the man's got his tools all warmed up. He sometimes walks around with the portable drill, looking for something to screw. I see that and I run. He's making up projects now. He was so bored this past week that he put ceramic tile in the kitchen, all round the stove and sink, tiled the front porch, painted the livingroom, hall, diningroom, kitchen and spare bedroom, all in yellow, repainted the trim and door mouldings white, repainted the interior doors and exterior doors. He went a little bit crazy with the yellow though. Hey, but I'm not complaining, only commenting. There's a difference.